Quick quiz: These smiling, fresh-faced kids…

a) Have been cast to star in a new Harry Potter movie.

b) Were accepted to the leafy New England college of their choice.

c) Are going to the senior prom together.

d) Seem to really be enjoying their murder trial.

If you guessed the murder trial you win, although the reason for the smiles is a mystery to me.

The two, Amanda Knox and Raffaele Sollecito, have been on trial for several weeks, and some of these happy snaps were taken as recently as today. Whenever we get new photos from the court, I marvel again at the degree of levity.

I hate to sound like an old fart, but back in my day being tried for murder wasn’t NEARLY this much fun. It kind of makes me wish I was them. Oh well, maybe not.

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Above: combo shots of Raffaele Sollecito and Amanda Knox.

Below: Jailed murder suspect Amanda Knox, of the U.S. is led by Italian penitentiary police to a trial session in Perugia, February 13, 2009. Knox and Raffaele Sollecito are on trial for the murder of British student Meredith Kercher in November,  2007.

REUTERS photos by Daniele La Monaca

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Let’s face it, the human skeleton is a sexy thing. You take a bunch of bare bones, add a bikini, and you’ve got the makings of a beauty queen, right?

No, I don’t think so either, I just wanted to prepare readers for a controversy in Australia, where a contestant in the Miss Universe Australia pageant was 5′11″ tall but weighed only 108 pounds.

You can see Stephanie Naumoska on the left, compared with a human skull, believed to be the look she was going for.

Stephanie didn’t win the title - that went to a woman with actual flesh - but she got close enough to ignite a scandal. Our story mentions the “glittering” finals of the event, although in fairness Stephanie collapsed when a piece of the glitter actually landed on her, and couldn’t get up until it was lifted off.

The pageant director says Stephanie is of Macedonian heritage, thus accounting for her extreme thinness, but a nutritionist told an Australian newspaper there’s no such thing as a fricking Macedonian body type, and so the controversy continues.

Our handout from the pageant warns that Stephanie’s photo can’t be used for advertising. Call me crazy, but I don’t think they’re going to have a problem with that.

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Sydney model Stephanie Naumoska poses in a bikini in Sydney, April 21, 2009. REUTERS/ Miss Universe Australia/Handout FOR EDITORIAL USE ONLY. NOT FOR SALE FOR MARKETING OR ADVERTISING CAMPAIGNS

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Blog Guy, for a school assignment I have to write about a good deed done by a blog. I know your blog aims to improve the human condition. What have you done lately?

I’m glad you asked. Recently I published an item about Britain’s prime minister having to wait outside to greet guests, because he couldn’t see them coming. I suggested a good old-fashioned screen door, so he could watch from his living room.

He must read my blog, because voila, they now have a blue net at 10 Downing Street. It’s not quite as attractive as aluminum, but it does the job.

Thanks! So those British people really didn’t know about screen doors until your blog?

Well, it’s a known historical fact that a chief reason we won the American Revolution was our screen doors. British troops, not familiar with the concept, would just stupidly march up the sidewalk, unaware that every move was being watched.

Amazing! Good old yankee ingenuity won the day, huh?

Yes, and don’t even get me started on how many British troops were tricked by our automatic garage door openers.

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A policeman stands next to 10 Downing Street in London, April 20, 2009. Sports personalities went to Downing Street for the launch of a malaria initiative, and a blue malaria net covered the front door for the occasion. REUTERS/ Stefan Wermuth

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Blog Guy, I see that President Barack Obama went to a Summit of the Americas. Those guys all seem so serious all the time. Do they ever relax?

That’s ALL they do! Obama will have to tap into his inner child. Check out Venezuela’s President Hugo Chavez and Brazil’s President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, playing “I’ve got your nose” and “Peek-a-Boo.”

I had no idea! Do they do that stuff the whole time at these summits?

No. The meetings only begin with those two games. At the afternoon sessions, they move on to Pat-a-Cake,” “Button, Button, Who’s got the Button?” and ”Marco Polo.”"

Amazing. So how will we know whether Obama was sucessful at the summit? Should we watch for some oil concessions from Chavez, or immigration cooperation from Mexico, or….

You really need to lower your expectations, Ace. Just watch and see if Obama returns with his nose intact.

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Venezuela’s President Hugo Chavez (R) speaks with his Brazilian counterpart Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva during the official photo session at the 5th Summit of the Americas in Port of Spain, Trinidad and Tobago,  April 18, 2009.

REUTERS photos by Jorge Silva and Chris Wattie

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Blog Guy, I really love Amy Poehler - you know, from Saturday Night Live! Isn’t she in some new show on TV?

Yes.

Hey, thanks for that information. I’d love it if you could run a picture of her in your blog.

No problem. Here you go.

Uh, you know, that probably isn’t the one I would have chosen. I also love former SNL star Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Didn’t she also do a sitcom after SNL?

Yes.

Wow, it seems there’s nothing you don’t know about the TV scene. If it’s not too much trouble could you also run a photo of her? And let me be more specific here. One where you can see all of her, instead of just half.

Of course. Here you go, slick.

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Presenter Amy Poehler helps Legacy of Laughter award winner Julia Louis-Dreyfus pick up coins as part of a comedy bit at the taping of the TV Land Awards in Los Angeles, April 19, 2009. The awards show honors classic TV shows and will be telecast April 26 on the TV Land cable channel. REUTERS/Fred Prouser

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Blog Guy, you seem to know a lot about real art. Can you please tell me what makes some old painting really valuable, like say one by Vincent van Gogh? Those sell for thousands of dollars, right?

Sure. Sometimes even tens of thousands of dollars. But what most people don’t know is, van Gogh didn’t put any hangers on the back of his paintings.

Um, so?

So a lot of what you’re spending goes to a permanent staff of strongmen to hold the painting up on your wall, as you can see. Manpower costs quickly start to mount.

I never knew that! Where do you get all of your behind-the-scenes inside info?

I make up a lot of it, but I also learn plenty from photo captions. For instance, the actual caption below says this painting is by ”late Dutch artist Vincent van Gogh.” See,  that word “late” before his name clarifies he is dead, for readers who might have thought that having produced this piece in 1888, the resilient artist remains alive and well, painting away in 2009.

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Employees Claude Bosch (R) and Dieter Marti fix the painting ‘Wheatfield with Sheaves’ from 1888 of late Dutch artist Vincent van Gogh (1853-90) to a wall at Kunstmuseum Basel in Basel, April 18, 2009. REUTERS/Arnd Wiegmann

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Blog Guy, I’m a 16-year-old boy and I’m very sensitive about my looks.

The kids at school say I look like a hamburger! They taunt me, calling me ”Burger Boy” and ”Big Mac.” What can I do?

Kids can be so cruel. First, let me say that I don’t see it at all. You look like a regular kid to me. But I did show your photo to my picture editor, who said, “Sweet Jesus! Look at the Whopper where that poor kid’s head should be!”

So if it will help your self-esteem, let’s do a makeover. A brightly-colored shirt, especially one with blue stripes, will help de-emphasize your perceived burgerishness.

You try that out, and it will change your life. Tomorrow, you can go to school with relish. Oops, sorry.

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A demonstrator wearing a model of a hamburger on his head, is pictured during a protest by German farmers against patents on animal breeding in Munich, April 15, 2009. REUTERS/Alexandra Beier

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Today, I’m wondering what the frick paintings attributed to Adolf Hitler are doing on the auction block.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think art can only be good if the artist passes some morality test, but this strikes me as being absurd beyond belief. Sadly, I sat by in silence when they auctioned stuff like:

• Pol Pot’s Hummel figurines
• Vlad the Impaler’s fondue forks
• A Barbie coloring book badly filled in by Idi Amin
• Caligula’s baseball mitt
  
• Patio furniture hand-crafted by Stalin

But this Hitler thing is just too much. I mean, where does a conversation go after…

“Hey, that’s a real nice painting over your sofa there, Herb.”

“Thanks. Yeah, it’s an original Hitler. He only painted early in life, because then I think he went on to do other stuff…”

Hitler art slideshow

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Above: Signature detail is seen in Birtley, Shropshire, western England, April 15, 2009. A selection of paintings attributed to Adolf Hitler will be auctioned by Mullock’s auctioneers on April 23 at Ludlow Racecourse in Shropshire.

Below: Paintings attributed to Hitler.

REUTERS photos by Stephen Hird

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Blog Guy, after New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson dropped out of the Commerce Secretary nomination, what’s he up to now? I mean apart from being governor.

Well, I just saw some photos of him today. It appears he’s hanging around public places trying to sell jewelery.

Excuse me? That doesn’t sound right. You mean he’s just going up to strangers to see if they want to buy something?

That’s how it looks. You have to give him credit. Today he got through tight Vatican security to try selling a necklace to Pope Benedict XVI.

Amazing. Did the pope buy anything?

I’m not sure, although in the photo it looks like his holiness is driving a hard bargain.

I think this is just more of your lazy reporting. Check the captions, and you’ll see this was a gift.

Of course they would say that. You think they want every Tom, Dick and Harry schlepping jewelery to Saint Peter’s Square?

That’s it. I’m never coming back to this bottomless cesspool of misinformation.

Big talk, but the next time you need to get something wrong, you’ll come crawling back here.

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Above: New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson displays the gift he was to present to Pope Benedict XVI before the Wednesday general audience in Saint Peter’s square at the Vatican, April 15, 2009. REUTERS/Tony Gentile

Below: Richardson presents gift to the pope. REUTERS/Osservatore Romano

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Blog Guy, I need help. I’m a smoker, and…

Say no more, I’ll try to help you quit.

No! I don’t want to quit, I just don’t want my wife to catch me! How can I cover the smell?

Here is the very latest cover-up technology. You line a spare room with 4,600 pounds of garlic, then heat it to 120 degrees, permeating every inch with the aroma. You could light up a cow pie and nobody would notice.

But won’t my wife wonder about the garlic smell?

Sure. Just say an Italian restaurant opened next door.

But she’ll learn that isn’t true when she tries to make dinner reservations there.

Ah, so you’ve got a SMART wife, huh? Then say you added a garlic panic room for vampire attacks.

Perfect! I think she’ll fall for that.

Yeah, even the smart ones usually do.

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A vendor smokes as he sells garlic at a market in Taiyuan, Shanxi province, China, April 13, 2009. REUTERS/ Stringer

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