Oddly Enough Blog

It’s me! Please! It’s really me!

Blog Guy, I heard a weird rumor from my barista’s used car dealer.

What are the chances of that? What did he say?

You know the Wonder Woman character from the comic books?

He said Wonder Woman got really rich from those stories over the years, but went sort of crazy, and that now a comic book cartel is keeping her under wraps to avoid bad publicity.

Now she lives as a glamorous recluse in her own little world, trying to convince strangers of her true identity by showing old sketches of herself.

I’m listening. Go on.

Cheese it! It’s Wonder Woman!

Blog Guy, you have a lot of inside info on politics and I’m hoping you can clear something up for me. I’ve heard that Sarah Palin may actually be Wonder Woman.

Whoa! You may be on to something there, Ace.

It all fits! Palin rides a motorcycle, just like the real Wonder Woman, and she always travels with her faithful calf, Shep, and her wise-cracking sidekick, Todd….

Um…

And what could be a better secret identity than “former Alaska governor.” Who would ever suspect that?

I mean, she’s free to go fight evil in Iowa, New Hampshire, anyplace where crime is rampant and there may be voters!

Curses! Here comes Big Red!

Blog Guy, I’m a young female who wants to become a super heroine, sort of like Wonder Woman. I know she was an Amazon. Any idea where she bought her costume?

I guess Amazon.com would be too obvious?

Oh. That makes sense. You’ve written about a place called Super-Chicks R Us. Are they still in business?

Yes, but they just had their annual clearance sale, and their best super identities are gone.

What’s left, then? I’m not picky.

Let’s look at their Website. They have “Skinny-Legged Woman.” She gets a cheesy purple dress and hairy-armed gloves.

Run! We’re dead! It’s Scary Red!

Blog Guy, I was always in love with Lynda Carter – you know, she played Wonder Woman on TV. What’s she doing now?

Looks like this is your lucky day, Slick. She’s back in a superhero series next fall.

Awesome! As Wonder Woman?

No, this time around she plays “Scary Red Too Much Makeup Woman.”

Does she have special powers?

Look, it’s Lady Godiva!

Blog Guy, my buddy and I are having an argument, so we’re turning to you. What is the single most common male fantasy?

Oh please! Everybody knows that one.

Hah! It involves Brooke Shields, right?

Of course it does.

And also lots and lots of chocolate and some strawberries, right?

Sure, but I can’t even imagine what guy wouldn’t already be aware of that!