Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Could this blog get any verse?

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verse shakespeare 490

Blog Guy, I notice some of your readers submit their comments in haiku and limericks, and a couple of times you’ve done entire blog posts in verse.

EU-PRESIDENT/POETRYSure. I’m not averse to verse. That would be perverse. I’m a versatile pro, and pros write prose and vice versa.

That’s easy for you to say. But what if the going gets tough?

If it gets adverse, I would reverse myself and be averse to verse and vice versa. Conversely, I would say…

Excuse me. So your advice on verse is?

Diversify…

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Top: A 1640 copy, in contemporary sheep binding, of William Shakespeare’s first collected edition of his Poems sits on display at Sotheby’s auction house in New York, April 19, 2006. REUTERS/Shannon Stapleton

Guess I need an intervention…

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Blog Guy, can I work for your blog in some capacity?

CLINTON SCANDAL REPORTYou could be an interim intern.

May I ask some questions about the work?

Yes, I will answer your interim intern questions in turn.

What if you catch me stealing?

We will intern you. You will be an interned intern.

What if I stop moving while I’m interned?

If you’re inert, we will inter you.

Really? You inter inert interned interim interns?

Sure. Does interim interning interest you?

What sort of work is it?

Internet research. It’s an interim intern Internet job, unless you become an interred inert interned interim Internet intern.

USAI’ll take it. Who do you want me to do research on?

Pinter. Its an interim intern Pinter Internet job….

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Left: Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky in a 1997 file photo. REUTERS/Defense Department/Handout

Change the blog? Better latte than never

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VIETNAM

Happy New Year, Blog Guy. It’s me, your editor.

Hey, Boss. So the blog did great in 2010, didn’t it? The number two Reuters blog and 20,000 Facebook network followers… Onward and upward, huh?

VIETNAMEr, well, I wanted to talk to you about that. The publisher has a few ideas for tweaking your content slightly.

Seeing the world with strings attached

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Blog Guy, you haven’t mentioned your brother, Basil, in a while.

QATAR/I believe you once told us he works overseas, in an expatriate job. He’s an expert at export, as I recall?

No, he’s no longer an expat export expert. Basil left for a career as a folk musician. He moved to the Gulf, to play guitar in Doha.

You must be Round John Virgin?

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Blog Guy, somebody told me you’re working on a book.  I presume they meant you’re READING one?

Nope, writing one. I’m doing serious academic research into a fascinating subject.

A small Sunday giggle

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googol gargoyles

Blog Guy, I know you have a serious background in mathematics, and I wondered if you are familiar with the term googol.

Of course. It’s a number that is equal to 1 followed by 100 zeros.

SWIMMING/Thank you so much! Where can I get more information?

Well, you could Google it.

I could Google googol?

Yeah, you’ll find a gaggle.

A googol gaggle on Google? I have another question. Do you know who wrote, “Whatever you may say, the body depends on the soul”?

Opening a CAN of whoopass…

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james caan this one 490

Dear People Who Decide Film Awards:

I read that you’re giving a career tribute to that actor James Caan, at the Marrakesh Film Festival. What were you thinking?

MOROCCOI have nothing against the actor personally. I even saw those “Godfather” movies, but lost interest after Apollo Creed dropped out.

You need a semicolonoscopy, Blog Guy!

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Blog Guy, I represent some readers who want to talk to you about your punctuation.

My punctuation? But I’ve been on time nearly every day this week!

BRITAIN POLITICSThat would be punctuality. We’re more concerned about how you end sentences. You use way too many exclamation marks.

Oeuf! I can’t take any more puns!

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caviar 490

Blog Guy, I read a Reuters story about a French guy who is trying to bring caviar to the masses.

Sounds like a rough roe to hoe…

Roe to hoe? Groan. I’m going to ignore that, Blog Guy, because this is a serious story. The guy is using eggs from farmed sturgeon.

Finding Obama’s inner goof…

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OBAMA/

Out with it, Blog Guy. The blogosphere is abuzz over some new relationship between President Obama and your Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop.

Okay, but don’t tell anybody else. As you may recall, when he first took office Obama remained aloof from our museum.