Pakistan and Afghanistan: holiday satire

December 24, 2009

karachiSince we are going into a holiday season and not everybody is working, here is some lighter reading to be going on with:

Nadeem Paracha at the Dawn blog has come up with a Pakistan New Media Dictionary.

Here is his definition of a conspiracy theory:
“A theory that is not a theory at all but a hard fact on Pakistani TV channels. Anyone disagreeing with the hard and loud factoids (conspiratorially called conspiracy theorists), is a Mossad/CIA/RAW/NASA/KFC agent and a possible swine flu carrier who would be lined up against the walls of Delhi’s Red Fort and shot dead during the Ghazwa-ul-Hind in 2012 AD.”

Chapati Mystery’s end of year message has a screenshot of a Google search for Pakistan + is. See his results here.

Ghosts of Alexander provides 29 tips for bad writing on Afghanistan. Point number one:  “Offer simple explanations for everything, no matter how complex. Nobody wants to hear that there is no sound answer or that ‘it’s extremely complicated’.”

And from the comments on the post: “As soon as I finish my PPT presentation on the Graveyard of Empires (TM), I’ll send it over to you. I think it will solve all the problems in Central Asia.”

Finally, talking of power-point presentations, there is this (pdf).  I’m not entirely clear whether or not this presentation, which has been doing the rounds for the past few weeks since it was first published, belongs in the spoof category.  I will leave you to make your own minds up but here is one view from LCol JJ Malevich, who asks if Dilbert is leading the campaign in Afghanistan.


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Q: What do you get when you cross a Taliban with a combat drone?

A: A crater.

Q: How many Militants can fit in a car?

A: I don’t know. Counting their limbs is hard work.

Q: How can you tell a democratic liberating superpower from a fascist oil-hungry empire?

A: By being a fifteen year old pseudo-intellectual.

Q: What is the difference between Afghanistan and Iran?

A: About three years.

Posted by defcon86 | Report as abusive

Ahhh. I love Paracha’s commentary. Sad how the jester is often the most sane individual in the King’s court. Seems that way with Paracha and Pakistan.

Posted by kEiThZ | Report as abusive