By Daniel Muñoz

“You guys are with me, Osama Bin Laden. Don’t worry. Nothing bad will happen.” I laughed at hearing this as a feeling of false “security” swept over me.

I was with a TV crew going on patrol of Bogota’s red light district with this wannabe Osama, whose real name is Fernando Aguirre, a 50-year-old poor man who claims to be the son of the real Bin Laden.

As we made the rounds from one brothel to another it became clear that Aguirre has gained the respect of the bouncers of these dens of prostitution here in Latin America’s third most populated capital city.

His only instructions were to stay close to him and not take photographs showing the faces of Colombia’s famously beautiful hookers, who cater to the lust of not only Colombians but also tourists from around the world.

The security guards chuckled and gave Aguirre tips. They and some uniformed police officers, who allow him to carry a fake wooden rifle, chatted with him about security in the area. This Bogota neighborhood is notorious for muggings and gangs of taxi drivers who take people for what is known as the “millionaire’s tour,” which involves being kidnapped for an hour or so and taken at gunpoint from one cash machine to another to empty out your bank account.

Aguirre patrols the neighborhood four or five times every night, until about 5am. Food venders give him something to eat when he needs it and they pour him small cups of coffee to keep him awake. At the end of each night he goes back to where he lives, a secret lair which he refuses to take us to, much like that of his outlaw “father,” wherever he might be.

After living my whole life in Colombia, a country long under the thumb of violent characters, I feel better knowing that this “terrorist” is looking out for us.

(view Daniel’s Osama slideshow here)