Reuters Money

When it comes to secure employment, baseball coach doesn’t rank very high on the list. Just ask Claudio Reilsono.

The head coach of Carnegie Mellon’s baseball team is no Billy Martin, the Yankee stalwart who was famously canned by George Steinbrenner five different times. In fact, he’s compiled a pretty good record heading up the university team. But Reilsono is savvy enough to know that tomorrow is never guaranteed – especially in baseball, and especially an era many are calling The Great Recession.

That’s why, when talking with his nine-year-old daughter Ida, Reilsono is using these tough economic times as a teachable moment. “In a job like mine, I’m never that confident,” says Reilsono, 45. “I had neighbors who were foreclosed on, and I felt like it was happening to me. That’s why every dollar we can save keeps us farther away from the wolf at the door.”

But when kids are involved, it’s always a tricky balancing act. Children’s fears about not having enough money for food on the table, or a roof over their heads, can be scarring and stay with them for a lifetime. “You don’t want her to worry about things too much,” Reilsono says. “That’s our job.”

And there’s the rub. How much do you share with your children about today’s economic realities, without burdening them too much with adult concerns? “Anxiety is contagious,” says Szifra Birke, a therapist and wealth counselor in Chelmsford, Mass.

Birke’s advice? Protect your kids from displays of your own stress. Even if you think you’re talking in code with your partner or a friend, there’s a good chance your child is picking up on it. Save those conversations for after the kids go to bed, or when they’re out of the house.

At the same time, it’s impossible – and undesirable – to shelter them totally from what’s going on with the economy. According to a recent survey from American Express, 71 percent of kids between ages six and 16 already understand that we have been in the grips of a recession. And more than 90 percent of parents – shaken by the meltdown – are planning to pass along financial lessons to their kids.

But there’s a right way to go about it, and a way that can make children feel powerless and scared. A few key tips from the experts:

Make them participants in the family budget. If there’s not enough cash for an Xbox or a Caribbean vacation, you have to be able to convey that. But let them be a part of the decision-making, and make it a game: Replace high-cost activities with lower-cost ones that the kids enjoy, like playing board games, preparing meals together, or watching a video at home with a tub of popcorn. “Solicit suggestions on how the family can rearrange its budget,” says Birke. “Small sacrifices are usually not too disruptive to kids.”

Make sure they have some skin in the game. When kids have to pay for a portion of whatever they’re desiring at the moment, they magically begin making much wiser choices. “I use this tactic with my son,” says Laura Scharr-Bykowsky, a financial planner in Columbia, S.C. “If we go out to dinner and he wants a dessert or soda, he has to pay out of his own pocket. Suddenly he doesn’t want it so much anymore.”

Don’t let concern for your kids sabotage your own future. In an ideal world, every parent would love to buy their kids anything they want. But what Scharr-Bykowsky is seeing more and more, as a principal at Ascend Financial Planning: Parents who let their kids draw endlessly on the Bank of Mom and Dad, even if difficult times, while they neglect their own emergency savings and retirement goals. “It’s epidemic.”

Use the recession to your advantage. Making some sacrifices now will hurt, but the upside is that your child will absorb skills that can last for a lifetime. Living within your means, separating needs from wants, and making financial tradeoffs will set the table for fiscally responsible adulthood. “If you try to teach an adult something, it’s often too late,” says Carnegie Mellon’s Reilsono. “When they’re still young is the very best time to teach them solid financial habits.”

Photo: Claudio Reilsono with his daughter Iris in this undated handout photo. REUTERS/Handout