Reuters Money

Here’s the ugly truth about your financial adviser:  the unreturned phone calls, vague investment advice or too-good-to-be-true promises could mean it’s time to break up and move on.

It sounds trite, but it’s true. What you have with your adviser is a relationship — and if it’s dysfunctional, it will cost you money.

Consumers are confused about the financial advisers they trust, and on how they are regulated, according to a report released Tuesday by the General Accounting Office. That’s with good reason; the study found that while financial advisers are regulated, the actual enforcement of that regulation varies from one adviser to another, depending upon how they are classified. Consumers are often confused by the sheer number of titles and designations and what they actually mean, said the GAO.

“You need to feel like you can count on this person to be honest, trustworthy and caring… money is a very intimate issue,” says Susan Hirshman,  author of “Does This Make My Assets Look Fat?” and president of SHE Ltd, a consulting firm focusing on financial literacy for women.

As in all relationships, it all boils down to communication, Hirshman says. Be honest about the kind of relationship you signed up for.  If you’re the type of investor who needs a half an hour of soothing if the markets tank, don’t tell your adviser you’re cool under pressure. Likewise, don’t be annoyed by your adviser’s monthly calls if you requested them in first place.

“It’s your adviser’s job to assess what your needs are, so be up front about what you need and expect right from the start,” Hirshman says.

A blip of bad performance isn’t grounds to send your adviser packing either if you’re happy with the rest of your relationship,  she says.

Here are some surefire signs it’s time to walk away:

He doesn’t ask any questions (or he asks way too many). An adviser who doesn’t ask questions can’t possibly gather the amount of information required to to help you out. On the other hand, too many questions — especially those unrelated to your financial goals — may feel intrusive and unhelpful. Again, it all depends on the type of relationship you set out to have in the first place. If your styles don’t mesh and you feel uncomfortable talking about important financial matters, it’s time to move on.

The market is in meltdown and your adviser is MIA. Generally speaking, your adviser should get back to you within 24 hours if you have an urgent concern and within a couple days for less pressing matters. While you shouldn’t expect your adviser to be at your beck and call, be wary if the phone only rings when she has something to sell. (As a matter of fact, it’s probably better if the only thing he’s ‘selling’ is his services, and not products laden with high hidden fees or commissions.)

It’s too good to be true. Did you hear about the stock that’s guaranteed to quadruple in price and make you rich? That’s because it doesn’t exist.  Be suspicious of get rich quick schemes, Hirshman warns. If it sounds too good to be true, it is.

There’s no plan: If your adviser can’t explain how he intends to make sure you can retire at 65, there’s a problem. “Your adviser should be able to say, ‘This is the process, this is how I’ll execute it, and this is how I will measure its success’,” Hirshman says. If your adviser can’t deliver the details, be worried.

It’s not him, it’s you: Sometimes your financial needs grow too complex for your adviser. If you find yourself in a situation that requires sophisticated tax and estate planning, you may need to find another expert. Is your adviser connected to the right accountants and valuation experts in your area? If the answer is no, find someone who is.