If Liverpool accept playing rugby instead of soccer, then Toulouse stand a chance. Otherwise, the Champions League third qualifying round between the European giants and the French nobodies is pretty much a foregone conclusion.

OK, Toulouse, the capital of French rugby, have improved football-wise over the past few years and finished third in Ligue 1 last season behind powerhouses Lyon and Marseille.

Then again, that was only because traditional frontrunners like Monaco and PSG had disastrous runs. And, had they not been awarded the points from a draw at Nantes after a pitch invasion by angry local fans, Toulouse would not have finished in the top three in the first place.

That doesn’t mean they’re bad. Their coach, Elie Baup, a.k.a. The Man with the Cap because of the one always screwed to his head,  is excellent and remembered for once taking Bordeaux all the way to the French title. They also have decent players, notably Sweden striker Johan Elmander, who they have managed to keep despite sustained pressure from more glamorous outfits.

They now also have turncoat Andre-Pierre Gignac, who stirred an uproar in the close season by assuring Lille he would join them from Lorient before changing his mind because Toulouse had offered him a better salary.

Baup likes his short passing game and insists on team effort. “We have values to defend,” he likes to say. So Toulouse are not a joke. They also have European credentials. Seriously. In 1986, in the first round of the UEFA Cup, they had caused a sensation by knocking out Maradona’s Napoli.

Still, while Liverpool have truckloads of silverware, Toulouse have not won anything since lifting the French Cup 50 years ago and have spent more time in the second division than in the top flight since.

Toulouse are famous for other things than rugby and soccer, notably for featuring in the title of an anthem by the greatest French rock band ever, Little Bob Story. Riot in Toulouse, the song was called. I was born to lose, it went (Toulouse, to lose, get it?). Prophetic? Maybe.

The town also has a reputation for a delicacy called cassoulet, a vegetarian’s nightmare with chunks of meat floating on grease-soaked beans. Delicious.

Actually, if the Liverpool players had some of that before the matches against Toulouse, it might help the southwesterners.

Patrick Vignal, Paris