When I go to the theatre, I wouldn’t expect to see a soccer match break out on stage.
 
And so when I’m watching a soccer match I don’t want to see theatrics.

But watching the diving, feigned injuries and other nefarious attempts to fool the referee when Spain played against Italy in the quarter-finals made me wish both teams could somehow be eliminated.
 
It’s a beautiful game, but it was bad theatre and worse soccer. It was the first match of the tournament that I stopped watching after a while because the acting was putting me off.
 
Italy’s Luca Toni might be tall and intimidating when he runs towards the goal — and a likeable player at Bayern Munich — but several times it looked like it only took a gentle breeze to topple him in Vienna.

Spain’s David Villa later got a yellow card for diving in the penalty area but he was by no means the only player to hit the ground hard after the slightest contact.

German referee Herbert Fandel deserves credit for seeing through it all. Sure, he might have failed to award a penalty in the first half for Spain but really it’s like the little boy who cried wolf. After a while you assume everything is an act.

My favourite moment of the tournament? Ruud van Nistelrooy staying on his feet against Italy despite being tripped by Italy’s goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon in the 18th minute. The score was still 0-0 and he could have fallen and got the penalty as the ball rolled away from him. But he didn’t.
 
Similarly Eren Derdiyok of Switzerland stayed on his feet a few nights later despite a clumsy challenge by Turkey’s goalkeeper Volkan Demirel in the heavy rain in Basel. He rounded the keeper and crossed to Hakan Yakin, who tapped the ball in.

I’m glad we’ve seen more of  the Van Nistelrooys and Derdiyoks in this tournament so far and less of the Spain-Italy theatrics.

PHOTO: Herbert Fandel shows Spain’s David Villa a yellow card during the Euro 2008 quarter-final against Italy in Vienna, June 22, 2008. REUTERS/Christian Charisius

Three drama-filled quarter-finals and three group winners are gone. Spain should be worried.

Three of the four sides that qualified for the knockout stages after two games are out of the championship. Spain, the fourth, face world champions Italy on Sunday hoping to avoid completing the quartet.

Netherlands, Portugal, Croatia and Spain looked impressive in the group stages and chose to field second choice lineups in their final group games to give a break to their main players.

However, successful international football teams rely on continuity in their play, matches are spread out across the year and players get little opportunity to learn how to play with their colleagues. We have seen over the past three days that the more a team can play together inevitably the better they perform.

Germany finally “clicked” after stuttering through the group stages. Russia have improved in every game after a poor start. Buoyed by the return of playmaker Andrei Arshavin, they were worthy winners over a surprisingly lethargic Dutch team for whom most of the starting XI had enjoyed an eight-day break.

Spain’s expected starting lineup has had a similar length of rest.

Italy were poor against the Dutch, fortunate against Romania, but showed signs of improvement in the 2-0 win over France.

Will the pattern continue?

THE OPTIMIST  (Elena Moya)    
Spain’s chances of beating Italy and reaching the Euro 2008 semi-finals are better than ever.      
‘This time is different’ is the line that is repeated tournament after tournament, just before the team inevitably falls in the quarter-finals. But on this occasion it really is different, and here’s why.

1) Spain’s inferiority complex - based on four centuries of Inquisition, a fallen empire and a dictatorship that only finished thirty years ago - is evaporating. A winning mentality has been fostered by players like Fernando Torres and Cesc Fabregas.

2) They have traditionally been unlucky in tournaments, losing in penalty shootouts a few times including in England in 1996 against the hosts. This time, late match-winning goals by David Villa and Daniel Guiza have shown Spain can also be lucky.

3) Being lucky has given Spanish players confidence that last-minute turnarounds can actually happen in their favour. Spain’s tragic history - in football and in politics - is not inevitable. That’s what the players are now beginning to believe.

THE PESSIMIST (William Kemble-Diaz)
Half-English, half-Spanish — a poisoned chalice handed down by the footballing gods. Why oh why wasn’t I born half-German, half-Argentinean, or half-Italian, half-Brazilian?      

At least at this championship I’m only facing inevitable disappointment once. So here we are again at the quarter-final stage of a major tournament, where Spain usually flounder. And it’s them again — Italy.

We have great players, possibly the best midfield in Europe, and a strike force that works  really hard. Torres and Villa are the best Spanish pairing in living memory — better than Raul and Morientes or Butragueno and Salinas. 

Italy have no Gennaro Gattuso and Andrea Pirlo but can Iker Casillas and Sergio Ramos finally step up to the plate and show their Real Madrid form, can Carles Puyol and Raul Albiol handle Luca Toni?      

Will we avenge the pain of the 1994 World Cup — one of many misfortunes to have befallen Spain on the big stage — when Mauro Tassotti broke Luis Enrique’s nose and no penalty was given? Do I want this one? Oh so much it hurts. Am I confident? No.

PHOTO: Spain striker Fernando Torres listens to a question during a news conference in Neustift, June 20 REUTERS/Felix Ausin Ordonez

On Sept. 8 2007, Turkey slumped to a 2-2 draw with minnows Malta in Euro qualifying.

The Turkish fans who made the journey to Ta’Qali would never have believed their Euro 2008 journey would take them to a first European Championship semi-final against Germany.

For most of Friday’s quarter-final with Croatia, they doubted it too. 

Robbed of seven members of the 23-man squad through injury and suspension and 1-0 down as the clock hit 122 minutes, Turkey were on their way out.

The Croatians were thinking of a rematch with Germany in the semi-finals and emulating their 2-1 win in the group stages to set up a first major tournament final appearance.

But the Turks, who came back from 2-0 down to win 3-2 against the Czechs in the group stage, again dug deep into their powers of recovery.

Semih Senturk’s late, late strike forced the game into penalties, and at that point there was only going to be one winner. The Croatian players looked in shock and just weren’t ready for the shootout. The excellent Luka Modric shot wide with the opening kick and Croatia crumbled.

But have Turkey peaked? Can they raise themselves again? How much longer can they continue to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat?

The task is mighty, but after their recovery in qualifying after the Malta shambles and there resilient displays over the past fortnight, no one should right off Turkey.

Germany beware.

As someone once famously said, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

They were not talking about the finals of the European Championship at the time, but the phrase certianly applies. UEFA, under pressure it must be said from some of their 53 member associations, are weighing up the pros and cons of expanding the Euros to either a 20 or 24-team tournament.

I think that would be totally wrong.

The current 16-team championship is the perfect size and the perfect format. And 31 matches in three weeks should be enough to satiate the appetite of even the most desperate of fans.

As we all know, the competition format is simple and logical and because just the top two advance teams have to come and attack.

Add another four or eight teams and we get into the complicated nonsense we had to endure in the 24-team World Cups from 1982 to 1994 because it’s not easy to reduce 24 teams to a 16-team knockout stage. Defensive, cagey football, from teams who shouldn’t be in the finals in the first place will damage the event.

UEFA must make a decision on whether to expand the tournament or not by the end of the year because they have to invite bids from countries interested in staging the 2016 finals and prospective bidders need to know if they will be hosting a 16, 20 or 24 team event.

If it is 24 that would mean nearly half of UEFA’s members would be playing in the finals.

But why stop there? Why not get all 53 teams to play against each other in a competition that takes about two years to complete and comprises about 300 matches.

Oh sorry, that’s what the qualifiers for the finals are for.

PHOTO: Miroslav Klose outjumps Cristiano Ronaldo to score in Basel, June 19, 2008. REUTERS/Max Rossi

Cristiano Ronaldo told Real Madrid what they wanted to hear when he reacted to Portugal’s Euro 2008 exit with a clear indication of what he has in mind for his future.

Ronaldo was careful never to mention the words Real or Madrid when he spoke to reporters in Spanish at the end of the match in Basel but his words still did not leave much to the imagination.

“Everyone knows what I want,” Ronaldo said. “But in the next two or three days you’ll have something new. (I made this decision) some time ago, before this competition. I didn’t want to say anything because we were in competition and these are important decisions.”

Asked about the likelihood of a move, he added: “The possibilities are big but it doesn’t depend on me and because of that I don’t want to talk about it.”

His comments came on the same day a senior Real Madrid figure called on Ronaldo to come out in public and give them an opportunity to start negotiations with the Premier League champions.

If Ronaldo really does want to leave, United may have to accept that the canniest move now would be to get the best deal possible from Real.

The 23-year-old winger’s ineffective performance in Portugal’s 3-2 defeat by Germany might just persuade Alex Ferguson that he is by no means irreplaceable and that 100 million euros or so might give him the chance to build an even better team.

Do you think United should let him go and pocket the cash? And if so, who could they sign to fill Ronaldo’s boots? Barcelona are trying to offload Ronaldinho, Deco and Samuel Eto’o and they could comfortably afford all three with that sort of money.

What do you reckon?

PHOTO: Cristiano Ronaldo reacts to Portugal’s 3-2 defeat by Germany at Euro 2008, Basel, June 19, 2008. REUTERS/Stefan Wermuth

UEFA’s decision to banish mild-mannered coach Joachim Loew from the touchline for Thursday’s quarter-final against Portugal is being put down to anti-German feeling by a lot of people here, a suspicion fanned by the angry response from German FA bosses.

It’s not the first time Germany have been hit with what neutral observers (I’d like to consider myself one of those) might view as a rather harsh penalty just before a critical match.

It recalled the suspension of Torsten Frings on the eve of the World Cup semi-final against Italy two years ago, for his relatively minor role in a post-match scuffle with
Argentina players. Germans also remember that they had to do without Michael Ballack for the World Cup final in 2002, although that was a more straightforward decision.

Is it a general dislike of Germans? Are there influential people that don’t want to see the country that has won three European Championships (1972, 1980 and 1996) and three World Cups (1954, 1974, 1990) succeed again?

Bierhoff was quick to dismiss such an idea at an eve-of-match press conference in Basel but he was annoyed in the extreme.

“These are isolated cases,” he said. “I don’t think there is a special story going on here. But in this case perhaps a fine would have been sufficient.”

Loew said after the incident that he had just been coming to the aid of Josef Hickersberger, who was also sent off, in urging the fourth official to allow the Austrian freedom to roam in the technical area at pitchside. Loew has no history of criticising referees and he quickly shook hands with Hickersberger as they walked together towards the stands. Loew’s arguments thus seem entirely plausible.

To stunned Germans, it feels like an innocent bystander got whacked around for trying to help. It seems like Loew first got arrested and has now been convicted for being a Good Samaritan.

Erik Kirschbaum, Berlin

PHOTO: Joachim Loew carries a goal during a training session in Tenero, June 17, 2008. REUTERS/Alex Grimm

Germany’s general election may still be a year away, but the challengers are already battling it out for the big political prize on unlikely territory — at Euro 2008.

Both conservative Chancellor Angela Merkel and her Social Democratic rival, Foreign Minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier, are going to great lengths to associate themselves with the German team.

Steinmeier surprised journalists during a trip to China last week when he converted an ordinary fuel stop in Helsinki into a soccer-watching party.

Eager to catch Germany’s match against Croatia, Steinmeier had his China-bound plane roll to the door of a VIP lounge at Helsinki Airport immediately upon landing just before half-time, where a giant TV screen was set up for the ambitious foreign minister, his accompanying aides and journalists.

Cringing when Croatia went ahead 2-0, Steinmeier jumped up from his front row seat and headed for the door, grumbling: ‘The fuel tank must be full by now.’ But it turned out he was only joking. He sat back down in time to see Germany pull one back before ultimately losing 2-1.

Just days later, Merkel, Steinmeier (wearing a tacky tie with the red, black and gold German colours) and four other equally ambitious ministers from Merkel’s cabinet flew to Vienna to watch Germany’s next match against Austria. 

Merkel clearly enjoyed the game — as much as being in the spotlight. German TV kept cutting away to Merkel, chatting first with suspended midfielder Bastian Schweinsteiger and then with coach Joachim Loew, banished to the stands by the referee.

“Merkel knows her stuff,” Schweinsteiger was quoted as as saying by Bild, a paper that once hailed Merkel’s ability to explain the off-side rule. “She pointed out that Philipp Lahm kept getting free on the left.”

Merkel’s predecessors Gerhard Schroeder, a gritty striker who played semi-pro football as a young law student, and Helmut Kohl were never shy about trying to attach themselves to the national team that has won three World Cups and three European Championships — knowing how priceless images of them posing with successful teams are.

With the 2009 election looming it seems Merkel and Steinmeier are pulling out all the stops. But you have to wonder how close they’ll want to be if Germany get knocked out in the quarter-finals by Portugal?

PHOTO: Germany’s coach Joachim Loew (C) speaks with German Chancellor Angela Merkel during the Group B Euro 2008 match against Austria in Vienna, June 16, 2008. REUTERS/Kai Pfaffenbach

When Spain’s coach Luis Aragones decided to leave Real Madrid striker Raul out of his squad for Euro 2008 some thought he would live to regret his decision.

However, Valencia striker David Villa has stolen the headlines at the tournament after a cooly taken hat-trick in Spain’s opening 4-1 victory over Group D rivals Russia and an excellent stoppage-time goal in Saturday’s 2-1 win over Sweden.

Owen Wyatt and Pedro Redig discuss whether or not Aragones has made the right move. Our Spain correspondent Simon Baskett certainly thinks he has but what’s your view?

Wow, Donald Sutherland seems very upset by that penalty decision!      

A lot of people in football look like a lot of other people but more people in Euro 2008 seem to have doubles than in any other tournament.     

It’s well known by now of course that Portugal and soon to be Chelsea boss Luiz Felipe Scolari is the spitting image of Hollywood actor Gene Hackman. 

But has anyone else noticed the incredible similarity between Italian striker Alessandro Del Piero and rock legend Bruce Springsteen. I went to see Springsteen at the Emirates stadium the other week and when he did his knee slides I thought I was watching Del Piero celebrating a goal against Arsenal.      

George Clooney has been in goal for Greece here, or rather George Clooney-alike Antonios Nikopolidis while Donald Sutherland has temporarily left his role in the TV series Dirty Sexy Money to coach the Polish team, or was that Leo Beenhakker complaining about Howard Webb’s refereeing decisions?      

Fatih Terim, the dashing Turkish coach could, I reckon, walk into Hollywood passing himself off as either Robert de Niro’s older brother, or Joe Pesci’s taller brother. And while we are with the Turks Nihat Kahveci is a dead ringer for Mads Mikkelsen, who played the villain Le Chiffre in the latest 007 movie Casino Royale.

I know they are different people though, because Nihat didn’t cry tears of blood when he scored twice as Turkey beat the Czechs, just tears of joy.      

Any others?

PHOTOS: REUTERS/Tony Gentile and Brendan McDermid