A trio of Bayern Munich defenders eager to play at the Olympics are about to feel some heavy-duty arm-twisting by club manager Uli Hoeness, who is not at all happy about the idea of Martin Demichelis, Lucio and Breno missing pre-season training and the first few games of the campaign to play in China.

“We’re going to do everything we can to see that players who are already on their country’s top international team are not going to be called up for the Olympic selection as well,” Hoeness told Germany’s Bild am Sonntag newspaper this weekend. 

“We’re not going to take that lying down. We’re going to pull every lever we can to prevent that. It’s not going to happen.”

The 27-year-old Demichelis, who just missed a place at the 2006 World Cup, was nominated last week for Argentina’s Olympic squad, who will be defending the gold medal won in 2004 in Athens. According to media reports, Lucio (29) likewise wants to go as an over-age player for Brazil. His countryman Breno is 18 and was recently called up to the Olympics squad.

As Brian Homewood wrote last month, soccer at the Olympics carries a great deal of prestige in Latin America.

Hoeness appears less enthused with Olympic spirit and that could be bad news for Brazil and Argentina because the long-serving Bayern chief is an old hand at this game.

Ze Roberto, for example, was urged to formally retire from the Brazil international side before Bayern Munich would re-sign him last year and before that there was repeated friction with Elber and his international career for Brazil.

PHOTO: Lucio (L) celebrates a goal with team mate Martin Demichelis during Bayern’s Champions League match against Real Madrid at the Santiago Bernabeu stadium, February 20, 2007. REUTERS/Victor Fraile

Franck Ribery has been putting in overtime to learn German since he arrived at Bayern Munich in July in a record-breaking 25 million euro transfer. As he said at the time, he wants to be an integral part of the club.

The gifted France midfielder has clearly integrated himself in Munich with vital goals but he has not yet discovered the subtleties of German humour.

On Sunday, rain-drenched fans at relegation-threatened Arminia Bielefeld resorted to gallows humour to stay warm before their match against Bayern with self-deprecating chants about their little-known playmaker Jonas Kamper: “We have Kamper, who needs Ribery?” (”Wir haben Kamper, Scheiss auf Ribery”)

After a magnificent solo effort in the 22nd minute, when he outraced two Bielefeld defenders and rounded goalkeeper Mathias Hain before powering an angled shot into the vacant goal, Ribery pushed away team mates rushing to congratulate him and ran to the Bielefeld section, where he made an unflattering gestures about their pre-match chants as if to say: “You’re all talk.” As the jeers erupted, he cupped his hand over his ear as if to say: “I still can’t hear you.”

Ribery’s German team mate Miroslav Klose admonished him for the taunt – “I ran over and told him to knock it off,” Klose said — but Ribery later told journalists (in French) that he couldn’t resist giving it back to them.

“I understood exactly what they were singing,” Ribery said after Bayern’s 1-0 win took them back top. “That kind of thing is normal in football. But it nevertheless gave me tremendous joy to score that goal.”

PHOTO: Ribery gives a thumbs-up after Bayern’s win over Bielefeld, December 2, 2007. REUTERS/Ina Fassbender

Nearly four years ago, a traditional soccer power that had fallen on hard times by squandering their enormous resources and great potential turned — almost in desperation — to an untested young coach with a lot of demands and no track record. And that was only after their three first choices had turned down the job.

With hindsight, the German FA (DFB) should be given credit for their courage to turn over the “Nationalelf” to Juergen Klinsmann – even if they had just about run out of candidates who still had a pulse. 

At the time, it looked like madness to some. But two years later, after Klinsmann had led Germany to third place in the World Cup, there were 82 million Germans begging him to stay longer.

Klinsmann, of course, refused to stay and returned home to California at the end of his two-year contract. He didn’t need the money and wanted a break after the two-year mission: He came, he saw, he fixed it and went home.

It seems to me England are having similar problems and could do with a Klinsmann to help them out. They produce so many talented players, have the world’s best league, an unrivalled tradition and a huge appetite for winning, yet they so often underperform.

Klinsmann triumphed in part because he wasn’t afraid to bring in young and untried players. He was also prepared to sack people who got in his way — like goalkeeping coach Sepp Maier and ageing defender Christian Woerns.

Klinsmann also stood up to the powerful media in Germany, refused to play according to their rules, and after some serious sniping ultimately had even the most vicious pressbox critics eating out of his hand.

If nothing else, having a German coach might at least help England overcome their trauma with penalties.

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PHOTO: Klinsmann celebrates with the fans at the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin, July 9, 2006. REUTERS/Marcus Brandt/Pool

It’s only a slight exaggeration to say the only people in the United States who want Juergen Klinsmann’s autograph are the waiters seeking his signature on their credit card receipts.

The former Germany coach and striker might be virtually overrun in his home country by autograph seekers and could probably not walk down a street anywhere in Germany even in the middle of the night without causing a stir.

But in California, it’s Juergen Who?

“It’s great that we can lead a normal life here,” Klinsmann told me when there was only one autograph request during the course of a two-hour interview in his adopted California home - from a friendly waiter who brought the check for lunch.

“It’s just a completely different world. That would change overnight if we (he and his family) ever went back to Europe.”

I’ve had three interviews in California with Klinsmann over the past few years, all of them in very public coffee shops, bars and restaurants, and there was only one soccer fan who recognised him and asked for an autograph, and he was from Europe.

Even then he stood shyly a few metres off in the distance for a moment — perhaps to make sure it really was Klinsmann — before sending his uninformed yet infinitely more courageous American girlfriend up to our table at an outdoor cafe to ask on his behalf.

Klinsmann, who had just been explaining to me that no one in America knew who he was,  laughed at the irony before happily signing his name: “That almost never happens here, really. It’s only the occasional tourist from Europe or South America.”

Klinsmann savours his nearly anonymous life in America. He once even played in a local California soccer league under an assumed name, until some started wondering who this guy was named “Jay” — as in “J” — who was scoring all these goals. He believes that even though David Beckham has sparked a wave of interest in soccer in the United States he will still be able to remain just another face in the crowd.

“Even with Beckham being here now soccer doesn’t have the mass appeal that other sports do,” he said. “Soccer isn’t part of the culture and that’s why nothing has changed for me, even after the World Cup. I can still go shopping or out to eat without anyone noticing — just like before.”

Erik Kirschbaum, Huntington Beach, California

With an American passport tucked into my pocket and a press pass around my neck, I had the feeling I might have been the only neutral at Wembley Stadium for England against Germany.

I honestly didn’t care who won, hoping only for a decent match, anything but a draw, and a few memorable goals.

There was a real buzz both inside and outside the great newly renovated stadium for the “friendly”, a term that just doesn’t feel right for England v Germany — especially when 85,000 people wearing England jerseys are loudly booing the baritone as he tries to sing the German national anthem with the speaker system cranked up to full volume.

The jeers erupted once again when an image of German chancellor Angela Merkel taking her seat was flashed on the giant video screen before quickly being taken off again.

It turned out to be a more than decent match, described by Jan at the Bundesliga Offside as a “meaningful friendly”, with three goals and almost no diving or feigning injury (which really puts off Americans). But it was clearly the stadium itself that took centre stage.

Even as the clattering trains approached Wembley Park rail station, the passengers all hushed as they turned to look up at the stadium’s lit-up arch towering above.

Inside Wembley, which Franz Beckenbauer recently described as “the world’s most beautiful stadium”, the facilities were top notch for journalists as well as fans, with free wireless and miniature TV monitors on every desk.

But 21st century Great Britain quickly turned back into “Little England” a few minutes into the England press conference when it was abruptly truncated under an odd set of rules* to give all the access to a select group of Sunday newspaper writers. The rest of the reporters were coldly shunted out the door and told to leave immediately.

After the match one grinning German journalist turned to a glum-looking English counterpart and asked if he was disappointed. The Englishman replied: “No, it’s part of the grand strategy. It’ll give us the spark we need to win everything through to the Euro 2008 final.”

There’s optimism for you…

Erik Kirschbaum, London

*Note: For an insight into the byazantine rules of England press conferences, see this piece from our reporter Tim Collings at the 2006 World Cup. 

Juergen Klinsmann might be almost half way around the world in California but it was impossible to miss the former Germany coach’s signature on the new-look Bayern Munich that destroyed Hansa Rostock 3-0 at the start of the Bundesliga season on Saturday.

Even though there had been friction between the Bayern bosses and Klinsmann during his time leading Germany, over the former striker’s ideas on fitness trainers, team psychologists, and modern offensive-minded soccer, Bayern have tacitly adopted some of his ideas and the new attacking style is right out of Klinsmann’s playbook.

And just as Klinsmann’s team dazzled the nation en route to third place at the World Cup, Bayern have put on a scintillating show for their fans and enemies with the new offensive approach.

Bayern are the latest German side to open up their attack, helping boost the game’s popularity. This weekend, all nine matches sold out with a record combined attendance of 412,477. 

Led by Luca Toni, Miroslav Klose and Franck Ribery, Bayern got off 25 shots at Rostock’s beleaguered keeper Stefan Waechter — about as many as in their first four matches last season. In the pre-season League Cup earlier in August, Bayern had crushed the three teams that finished ahead of them last season by a combined tally of 7-1.

In recent seasons and especially under former coach Felix Magath, Bayern seemed more like an Italian team, shutting everything down once they got a goal. It might have been good for the record but was a bore for fans.

Last season Bayern only scored 55 league goals, finishing fourth. That was 21 goals fewer than third place Werder Bremen’s 76. Even in 2005-06 when they last won the championship Bayern got only 67 goals, 12 fewer than second place Werder’s 79.

The second round of Bundesliga matches sees Werder host Bayern on Saturday. There should be fireworks.

Erik Kirschbaum, Berlin

Ailton is returning to the Bundesliga, where the Brazilian had a glorious 2003-04 at Werder Bremen when his 28 goals topped the league scoring table and helped Werder win a league and cup double.

After an unhappy year at Schalke 04 and spells in Istanbul, Belgrade and Zurich (as well as a brief stop in Hamburg) Ailton has signed with newly promoted MSV Duisburg. ”It was a big mistake to ever leave the Bundesliga,” he said.

He seems to be part of a trend. Ze Roberto is returning to Bayern Munich after a year back home in Brazil, Marcelinho came back to the Bundesliga at Wolfsburg earlier this year after his move from Hertha Berlin to Turkey didn’t work out and Ewerthon, formerly of Borussia Dortmund, has returned to play at champions Stuttgart on loan from Real Zaragoza.

There are plenty of new Brazilian faces, too. Werder Bremen have led the way by bringing in Carlos Alberto, for 7.8 million euros, to play alongside compatriots Diego and Naldo. Other moves include Fernando Santos and Maicon to Duisburg, Diego Morais and Orestes to Hansa Rostock and Gledson to Stuttgart.

Cold cash may be part of the reason. As Bayern sporting director Uli Hoeness often said, the Bundesliga might not be able to promise the big salaries that players in other top European leagues offer but at least they can sleep well at night knowing their wages will be paid on time.

But Hoeness has another theory — a “World Cup effect”. He believes foreign players might think that because the weather during the 2006 World Cup in June and July was so warm and the people so friendly that it’s like that all the time in Germany.

The World Cup surely had an impact. The stadiums in Germany, most of which were beautifully renovated in a massive spending programme for the tournament, have an unrivalled quality and the crowds in Bundesliga stadiums are always large and enthusiastic.

Or why else would anyone want to live in Germany?

Erik Kirschbaum, Berlin

Bernd Schuster never made it past the second division as a coach in Germany but recently got what is arguably the most coveted job in the business with a three-year deal at Real Madrid.

Scotland will probably never hire a German coach again after Berti Vogts’s uneasy reign and it’s a safe bet no German will ever coach Cameroon again after Winfried Schaefer left under a cloud.

But despite those and some other less than amicable split-ups, Germans still regularly fetch up on club and country benches around the world. 

Juergen Klinsmann, who led Germany to third place in the World Cup and was recently linked with Chelsea, will probably be the next top German coach snapped up.

The list of Germans coaching national teams abroad now or in the past is long: Otto Rehhagel in Greece, Klaus Toppmoeller in Georgia, Vogts in Scotland and now Nigeria, Uli Stielike in Switzerland and Ivory Coast, Hans-Peter Briegel in Albania and then Bahrain, Schaefer in Cameroon, Otto Pfister in Togo and many other nations, Bernd Stange in Iraq, Holger Osieck in Canada and Lothar Matthaeus in Hungary.

Germans have also made their marks as club coaches in foreign leagues. To name a few: Guido Buchwald in Japan, Christoph Daum in Turkey, Joachim Loew in Austria and Turkey, Jupp Heynckes in Spain, Werner Lorant in Turkey and South Korea, Matthaeus in Brazil and Austria, and Ernst Middendorp in South Africa.

Why are German coaches in such demand? Is it because, in line with the old cliche, they’re seen as such good organisers? It can’t just be that they want to get away from Germany, can it?

Erik Kirschbaum, Berlin

Speaking German has never been a prerequisite to play in the Bundesliga, whose multi-national clubs have opened their arms to multi-lingual talent — even before the 1995 Bosman Ruling forbade EU countries from imposing limits on the number of EU players in a team.

But Energie Cottbus has taken that love of foreigners to new heights with players from 14 different countries — count ‘em, 14! — speaking 14 different languages in their line-up for the upcoming season. Mein Gott!

With players from countries ranging from A (Albania) to Z (Zypern, the German word for Cyprus) the small club with one of the smallest budgets in the Bundesliga have signed players from an astonishing array of nations. The reason: prices for foreigners tend to be lower than for Germans and the growing number of EU countries.

Cottbus already made German history in 2001 when they fielded 11 foreigners for the first time in a Bundesliga match in a 0-0 home draw with VfL Wolfsburg. The Cottbus players in that match came from eight different countries.

This year, the club in the small town near the Polish border have players from Brazil, Bulgaria, Cameroon, China, Croatia, Denmark, France, Hungary, Germany, Macedonia, Poland, Romania as well as Albania (Ervin Skela) and Cyprus (Efstathios Aloneftis).

Most of the foreigners speak at least some English, according to coach Petrik Sanders. But not all speak German yet, and 10 of them are taking classes in the not-so-easy-to learn language of Goethe and Schiller after training sessions.

Viel Glueck!

Erik Kirschbaum, Berlin

A year after the World Cup that had Germans on their feet and in each others’ arms in an uncharacteristic outpouring of emotions (which incidentally led to a notable rise in the birth rate nine months later), the country is going through a severe case of soccer withdrawal.

The 12-week gap between the end of the last Bundesliga season on May 19 and the start of the new season on August 10 seems excruciatingly long this year — the first summer in Germany without footy since 2003.

Euro 2004, the Confederations Cup and the World Cup all gave German soccer fans plenty of action the last three Junes to watch, talk and read about.

Soccer’s appeal in Germany was spread far beyond the traditional fan base thanks to the buzz around coach Juergen Klinsmann, who led Germany to third place in both the 2005 Confederations Cup and last year’s World Cup with a refreshing emphasis on attack.

The memories are pleasant but they seem to be causing acute distress.

Some newspapers with no soccer to write about have resorted to publishing daily summaries of what was going on “a year ago today” during the World Cup. Crowds of up to 10,000 have turned out to watch training sessions at middle-of-the-table Bundesliga clubs. Other fans have sought to satisfy their needs by watching night-time broadcasts of the Copa America.

Otherwise, with well over a month remaining until “der Ball rollt wieder” (the ball rolls again), Germans will have to pursue alternative entertainment. Perhaps there will be another blip higher in the birth rate next March…

Erik Kirschbaum, Berlin