For most football fans, it would be a dream come true — go along and meet your favourite player and ask him anything you want.

That is the deluded view that led me to be excited when I was sent to my first “mixed zone”,  where players are available for quick interviews as they walk past reporters when leaving the stadium after a match.

Bruised and battered from a lot of tactical shoving and suffering from a severe overdose of testosterone (not ideal when you’re a woman), I’m thinking more war zone than mixed zone.

Elbows fly as dozens of hungry newshounds battle for position in the hope of getting a juicy quote — or most likely yet another tired cliché — from the player of the moment. You have to pick your position: avoid standing next to a cameraman (that’s a big bit of equipment to be hit with, trust me I know) and avoid anyone who may have dubious personal hygiene (you are going to get very close to them).

Then all you have to do is get the players’ attention while they saunter past looking like they really can’t be bothered.

One cunning ploy that I have noticed several times, particularly by radio and television journalists, is to bring along a beautiful woman (who definitely didn’t spend the last 90 minutes cramped in the media tribune hunched over a laptop) to act as bait to hook the player for an interview. Once they have reeled him in with a few pleasantries, the men ask the ‘proper’ questions.

I look on enviously, wondering why I have my nose up someone’s sweaty armpit, a dead arm from holding my dictaphone at an impossible angle and cramp from standing on tip-toes in the middle of the big huddle of reporters. Oh, and I can’t breathe because I am crushed against the barrier that keeps the poor footballers out of harm’s way. Thankfully, I’ve got a quote.

Forget elbowing and barging, next time I’m coming armed with some sharp stilettos…

PHOTO: Czech Republic’s Michal Kadlec listens to journalists’ questions after a training session in Seefeld, June 4, 2008. REUTERS/Petr Josek

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There’s just a few hours to go before the Czech Republic take on Portugal and the Koller question is foremost in my mind.

There is no disputing Jan Koller’s impressive goalscoring record - 54 goals in 88 internationals - so you can understand why coach Karel Brueckner picks him time and again.

The problem is that at 35, Koller has definitely slowed down and the only realistic way of him scoring is by using his height advantage (2.02 metres) in the box. He is never going to make darting runs or use dazzling footwork to score. He will either use his head or his bulk and it won’t be pretty.

That was all fine when Czech Republic boasted a fine array of creative midfielders - Pavel Nedved, Karel Poborsky, Vladimir Smicer - who could supply the big man with the perfect ball. Now they have all gone and, as we saw against the Swiss, the Czechs are left seriously lacking in midfield ideas and Koller barely got a decent ball.

Without taking anything away from Koller, isn’t it time Brueckner took a chance on some of the younger forwards in the team, perhaps playing two of them upfront instead of his preferred lone striker formation? Koller would be the perfect player to bring on as a late substitute when they’re looking for a goal.

Koller seems bound to be in the starting XI against Portugal but Brueckner has said there will be some changes.

What do you think would work best? Saturday’s goalscorer Vaclav Sverkos as a second striker? Euro 2004 top scorer Milan Baros alongside Koller? Or does young forward Martin Fenin have a role to play?

I guess we’ll see soon enough…

PHOTO: Switzerland’s Gokhan Inler (R) challenges Jan Koller at St Jakob Park in Basel, June 7, 2008. REUTERS/Christian Hartmann