Almost 350 players will leave Euro 2008 disappointed but only 11 will carry the ultimate shame of making it into the Reuters Flops of the Tournament XI.

Starting at the back there is nothing like a commanding goalkeeper and we have three contenders who have been nothing like a commanding goalkeeper.

Petr Cech made a bid by dropping a straightforward catch that enabled Turkey to come from the dead and knock the Czech Republic out while Rustu Recber’s 100 percent ratio of blunders to games in his two appearances also earned notice.

However, the number one shirt goes to 38-year-old Jens Lehmann for his creaky, leaky display in Germany’s semi-final win over Turkey.

There was stiff competition at centre back too, though Marco Materazzi was an almost unanimous choice after finally rediscovering his long-lost Everton form — disappointing, shall we say — in Italy’s 3-0 defeat by the Netherlands.

Lilian Thuram, who was involved in all four goals conceded by France against the Dutch, was in there fighting but Russia’s Roman Shirokov, never to be seen again after Spain thumped four goals through, round and over him, gets the shirt.

France are well represented though as Willy Sagnol and Eric Abidal slot in at fullback.

There were a wide range of contenders for the four midfield slots but another Frenchman, Florent Malouda, was a clear favourite as he reproduced the form he has been showing all season for Chelsea — none.

Daniele De Rossi was supposed to be the purring engine at the heart of the Italian midfield but instead operated like a Vespa on the wrong fuel and walks in.

Four years ago Angelos Basinas helped Greece to their unlikely title but this time he was anonymous. There might have been other Greeks who were as bad or even worse but, as captain, he gets in with something of a representative role.

Freddie Ljungberg, Gennaro Gattuso and Tranquillo Barnetta all attracted votes but the final midfield spot goes to a man who was personally and publicly blamed by his coach for his team’s failure, Poland’s toothless Ebi Smolarek.

Up front there were any number of candidates. Nicolas Anelka had more scowls than shots, Henrik Larsson should have called it a day after two retirements while Martin Harnik was handed the chance to become an Austrian hero but flopped.

However, Mario Gomez has to play given that he arrived with such a fanfare but was then so ineffective that Germany redesigned their formation rather than keep him in.

Alongside him is the player who attracted more votes than anyone, someone for whom the term “lump” could have been invented.

Slow, immobile, clumsy and, when finally presented with some chances to show his ability in the air — poor in the air. Step forward, slowly, Luca Toni.

Such are the motivational qualities of Guus Hiddink that he would probably mould this bunch of misfits into title contenders.

But our disparate group will instead take to the hypothetical field under the guidance of Roberto Donadoni, who since he has already been sacked as Italy coach, is at least available.

PHOTO: Italy striker Luca Toni after being fouled by Eric Abidal in the area during the 2-0 win over France. June 17. REUTERS/Tony Gentile

THE OPTIMIST  (Elena Moya)    
Spain’s chances of beating Italy and reaching the Euro 2008 semi-finals are better than ever.      
‘This time is different’ is the line that is repeated tournament after tournament, just before the team inevitably falls in the quarter-finals. But on this occasion it really is different, and here’s why.

1) Spain’s inferiority complex - based on four centuries of Inquisition, a fallen empire and a dictatorship that only finished thirty years ago - is evaporating. A winning mentality has been fostered by players like Fernando Torres and Cesc Fabregas.

2) They have traditionally been unlucky in tournaments, losing in penalty shootouts a few times including in England in 1996 against the hosts. This time, late match-winning goals by David Villa and Daniel Guiza have shown Spain can also be lucky.

3) Being lucky has given Spanish players confidence that last-minute turnarounds can actually happen in their favour. Spain’s tragic history - in football and in politics - is not inevitable. That’s what the players are now beginning to believe.

THE PESSIMIST (William Kemble-Diaz)
Half-English, half-Spanish — a poisoned chalice handed down by the footballing gods. Why oh why wasn’t I born half-German, half-Argentinean, or half-Italian, half-Brazilian?      

At least at this championship I’m only facing inevitable disappointment once. So here we are again at the quarter-final stage of a major tournament, where Spain usually flounder. And it’s them again — Italy.

We have great players, possibly the best midfield in Europe, and a strike force that works  really hard. Torres and Villa are the best Spanish pairing in living memory — better than Raul and Morientes or Butragueno and Salinas. 

Italy have no Gennaro Gattuso and Andrea Pirlo but can Iker Casillas and Sergio Ramos finally step up to the plate and show their Real Madrid form, can Carles Puyol and Raul Albiol handle Luca Toni?      

Will we avenge the pain of the 1994 World Cup — one of many misfortunes to have befallen Spain on the big stage — when Mauro Tassotti broke Luis Enrique’s nose and no penalty was given? Do I want this one? Oh so much it hurts. Am I confident? No.

PHOTO: Spain striker Fernando Torres listens to a question during a news conference in Neustift, June 20 REUTERS/Felix Ausin Ordonez

Italians are suspicious of everything, or so it seems. Several of my friends in Milan refuse to eat pasta or pizza outside Italy because they don’t believe it will taste the same.

They are just as circumspect when it comes to soccer.

The Dutch have already qualified for the Euro 2008 quarter-finals and meet second-placed Romania in their final Group C match in Berne on Tuesday. World champions Italy need the Dutch to get a result to have any chance of going above the Romanians by beating or drawing with France.  

The Italians are terrified that Netherlands coach Marco van Basten will put out a weakened side or the Dutch players will try to avoid injury and not give 100 percent. 

Azzurri fans already think they have been robbed by the officials who allowed Ruud van Nistelrooy’s goal in the 3-0 defeat by the Dutch and disallowed Luca Toni’s valid header in Friday’s 1-1 draw with Romania. Incidentally, that was played on Friday 13th and was the 13th game of the 13th European championship. But having said that, the unlucky number in Italy is actually 17…the date of the France game.

All this follows years of conspiracy theories which Italians have dreamt up to explain their early exit from tournaments.  

At the 2002 World Cup, Ecuadorian referee Byron Moreno was blamed for the 2-1 extra time defeat by South Korea in the second round. The Italians were convinced he was under orders to keep the hosts in the tournament. They had no hard evidence, of course.

Two years later Sweden drew 2-2 with Denmark in their final group game at Euro 2004 thanks to a last-minute goal. The result meant the two Scandinavian teams went through while Italy were dumped out despite their victory over Bulgaria. Again the Italians smelt a rat but nothing was proved. 

The fact their 2006 World Cup triumph came in the midst of the Serie A match-fixing scandal was some sort of warped fate, according to many in Italy.

This time coach Roberto Donadoni says he expects old AC Milan chum Van Basten to rally his Dutch troops. Most Italians don’t agree.

Mark Meadows, following Italy at Euro 2008     

PHOTO: Italy fans react while watching the Group C Euro 2008 soccer match between Italy and Romania on a screen at a fan zone in Zurich, June 13. REUTERS/Christian Hartmann

After Manchester United beat Chelsea to the Premier League title, the Londoners hit back by signing Porto’s Jose Bosingwa in the first big transfer of the close season (although he can’t play in next Wednesday’s Champions League final obviously).

Vlog on the pitch regulars Owen Wyatt and Jon Bramley are joined by Tony Donovan to discuss last weekend’s final day of the English league season and look ahead to what could be the main transfers in the summer window.

Berbatov to United or Chelsea? Anelka on the move again? What about David Villa coming to England?

Let us know your thoughts. Leave comments below or make your own video, load it up to youtube or wherever tagged “vlog on the pitch” and if we like it, we’ll put it up here.

The German-language speaking skills of Italy’s Luca Toni and France’s Franck Ribery have suddenly become a bit of an obsession in the German media (I mentioned Toni’s one-word vocabulary last week).

There was a great quote from Toni a few days later explaining just how little work they do in the two language classes they have per week alongside their Argentine colleague Jose Ernesto Sosa.

“It’s a lot of fun because the teacher tries to explain something to us and we each answer in our own way,” Toni was quoted as saying in an interview with Tuttosport. “Me with an Italian accent, Ribery with a French accent and Sosa with an Argentine accent. We laugh a lot but at the end of the day we don’t learn much.”

Rarely have players made such light of communication difficulties as Ribery and Toni. The Italian scored Bayern’s first in the 2-1 Cup final win over Borussia Dortmund on Saturday, converting easily after a great run and cross from the French midfielder.

Toni got the winner, too – diverting a shot from Lukas Podolski in extra-time for his 35th goal since arriving from Fiorentina last year. It was the fourth game in a row featuring two goals from Toni, who has been pushing Bayern management to sign another Italian next season so he’ll have someone to talk to.

Actually, credit where it’s due, because after the Cup final the two players gave their German-speaking debuts on local TV.

“Das ist eine Wasser,” (This is a water) Ribery said in German that was somewhat less than grammatically correct as he squirted a bottle full of water on Toni, who was in the midst of an interview (in Italian). 

Toni also showed those language lessons had not been for nothing. Asked how his German was coming along he just said: “Langsam, langsam” (slowly).

Remember, Toni was a late developer as a striker, too, so this time next year he’ll probably be fluent in ‘the awful German language’.

Erik Kirschbaum, Berlin

PHOTO: Toni and Ribery celebrate after the Italian’s second goal in Bayern’s German Cup final win over Borussia Dortmund at the Olympiastadion in Berlin, April 19, 2008. REUTERS/Kai Pfaffenbach

Luca Toni has evidently not learned much German in the eight months since he moved over the Alps a few hundred kilometres north of native Italy to the Bavarian capital of Munich.

With plenty of translators at his service and a wide range  of fine Italian restaurants in Munich to pick from, there’s little need to spend time studying the difficult tongue-twisting language of Goethe and Schiller. His interviews in the German media are invariably translated from Italian.

But Bayern Munich coach Ottmar Hitzfeld revealed on Sunday that Toni has in the meantime enriched his vocabulary with at least one German term - Tor (goal).

“I asked him at half-time if he wanted to play the whole match or come off and he just said ‘Tor, Tor, Tor’,” Hitzfeld said after Toni had scored twice in the first half against Dortmund, by which time they were leading 4-0.

Toni, who came to Bayern from Fiorentina in the close-season, has proven that you don’t need to speak fluent German to understand what keeps your German employers happy. That one three-letter word “Tor” is enough.

He has 31 goals in all competitions and leads the Bundesliga in scoring with 18 goals with six matches left.

Even though he didn’t score a third goal against Dortmund (the match finished 5-0, but it was Andreas Ottl who got the fifth), Toni ended up playing the full 90 minutes on Sunday just three days after going 120 minutes (and scoring twice in the last five) in Bayern’s epic UEFA Cup tie at Getafe.

But it’s not only his goal-scoring that makes Toni such a watchable player.

“Even when his shots miss, the anguish on Toni’s face and the gesticulations with his hands are so expressive and so much fun to watch,” said one commentator on Premiere Television.

PHOTO: Toni scores his first goal against Dortmund during their Bundesliga match in Munich, April 13, 2008. REUTERS/Alexandra Beier