As Dimitar Berbatov sluggishly rolled in Manchester United’s winner at Newcastle United on Wednesday it suddenly occurred to me that the Premier League season that threatened a different story is heading for a very familiar ending.

At the top, the midweek matches saw United record their 11th consecutive league win and strengthen their grasp on the title, while Chelsea and Liverpool consolidated Champions League spots and Arsenal made up ground on an Aston Villa side which might just be running out of steam.

At the bottom, this season’s potential shock began to evaporate as Tottenham Hotspur showed their true capabilities with a 4-0 drubbing of relegation-rivals Middlesbrough.

The season promised heroics.

Liverpool, who looked for much of the season to be in with a chance of the title have fallen away badly, while Chelsea have spent the campaign fighting internal battles and have nothing left for a title push.

So with no shock at the top, what about the bottom?

Well, Newcastle and Spurs finally look capable of avoiding the drop, despite dancing with relegation all season and if Middlesbrough were to join West Bromwich Albion in slipping into the Championship there wouldn’t be too many raised eyebrows.

It would appear normal service has been resumed and whilst the efforts of Aston Villa to mount a Champions League challenge and Hull City and Stoke City to compete with the big-boys are commendable, the Premier League will have wait another season for a shock.

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Not since Biffa Bacon hit the pages of Viz have so many swear words come out of Newcastle as interim manager Jo Kinnear made an immediate impact in his first week in charge.*

The 61-year-old Kinnear has been out of the game for four years and it was almost as if he had spent the entire time building up to bursting point with his dislike of the Press.

If the transcripts which have appeared on English newspaper websites are accurate, Kinnear used “36 f-words and four c-words” in a news conference rant. Here’s a flavour:

Addressing a journalist who suggested that he should not have given the club’s under-performing players the day off on his first day in charge, Kinnear began thus: “Absolutely ——- out of order… You can —- off and go to another ground . It is none of your ——- business. What the — are you going to do? You ain’t got the balls to be a ——- manager. ——- day off. Do I want your opinion? Do I have to listen to you?

“What are you? My personal secretary? —- off.” (more…)

It’s been a torrid time for Newcastle, with Kevin Keegan gone, Mike Ashley going, the fans protesting and the team second from bottom in the Premier League, but news that Terry Venables has decided not to return to football to take over the manager’s job actually means things are looking up.

El Tel’s main achievements in club management came in the 1980s with Queens Park Rangers and Barcelona, before a memorable, but ultimately unsuccessful, ride with England at Euro 96.

Since then, there have been disappointing spells in charge of Australia, Crystal Palace, Middlesbrough, Leeds United, and most recently as assistant to England manager Steve McClaren.

Though thought of fondly by many for England’s style of play at Euro 96, a man who last managed a club in 2003 hardly makes an ideal candidate for Newcastle, who are in desperate need of a steady hand and some smart manoeuvres come the January transfer window.

Newcastle have appointed seven managers in 11 years and there must be someone out there with a more suitable claim on being the eighth than Venables.

Who would get your vote?

PHOTO: A fan wears a Newcastle United jersey outside St James’ Park in Newcastle, September 5, 2008. REUTERS/Nigel Roddis

The trouble at Newcastle United continued on Sunday when owner Mike Ashley finally gave in to fans’ protests and put the club up for sale. That decision will delight a lot of Geordies, maybe, but has Ashley really been that bad?

Ashley would seem to fit the owner profile many supporters want. He wears the club colours and stands with the fans on matchdays. On taking over he quickly stoked the desire for silverware among the supporters by indicating that he shared their ambition. He was one of them.

One of his first moves was to organise the return of Kevin Keegan. Back as manager, ‘King Kev’ caused pandemonium among the fans and Ashley enjoyed the instant adulation as the man who made it happen.

Ashley also decided that Keegan’s track record for spending lots of money with little return meant that a technical director, responsible for overseeing transfers, was needed and ex-Chelsea player Dennis Wise was duly appointed.

Was that such an absurd move on Ashley’s part? Keegan spent a lot of money during his first spell at Newcastle, and later at Manchester City, but did not bring in trophies in return.

Keegan’s strengths have always been in coaching, in being able to get a team to play for him and Ashley recognised that. Since Wise’s appointment the club have dealt well in the transfer market. Fabricio Collocini looks to be a valuable acquisition, as does Jonas Gutierrez.

Perhaps where Ashley did go wrong was by fuelling the fans’ desire for success upon his arrival, when ultimately his plans were more realistic and centred on reducing the club’s levels of debt, not bankrolling a title bid.

Is it not a touch sad to see a man who spends over 240 million pounds of his own money in little over a year at the club be so swiftly forced out? Perhaps it’s a sign of just how delirious English football has become.

PHOTO: Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley leaves after the annual general meeting of Sports Direct in Shirebrook, central England, September 10, 2008. REUTERS/Darren Staples

Kevin Keegan resigned as manager of Newcastle United on Thursday, less than eight months after taking charge of the Premier League club for the second time.

Keegan said in a statement that he had been left with “no choice” because of the way the club was being run.

Is he right?

Should managers (or coaches) be the people who decide who the club should buy and sell? That’s not always how it works at big clubs in Europe (Real Madrid and Barcelona, for example) where you’ll find a sporting director installed above the coach. Of course, you would hope that they would work together but it doesn’t always happen that way and it’s clear enough who holds the power.

On the other hand, as Mike Collett wrote here yesterday, all these clubs who fancy joining Manchester United at the top of the tree may be better advised to go for the Old Trafford model, where the manager is very much the man in charge.

A look at The Newcastle United Blog suggests there is a lot of sympathy for Keegan and a lot anger with the club.

Keegan’s second spell in charge of Newcastle was less spectacular than the first but it was successful enough in its way.

There was no title challenge this time and nor was there expected to be — and doesn’t that tell you something about how football has changed over the past decade – but after his arrival in January this year he did steer the club clear of any relegation worries. After an opening-day draw with Manchester United there was reason for cautious optimism among fans.

Keegan evidently did not share that after losing, in his view, “the right to manage”.

Was he right to quit this time? And what happens next?

With the top four never changing, it is almost more entertaining following the Premier League when there are no matches taking place. So it proved this week, from the takeover and mega-spending at Manchester City to the Kevin Keegan saga at Newcastle and Alan Curbishley’s exit from West Ham.

Curbishley claimed that his position had been undermined by the men in suits selling players without his approval and that is the underlying sub-plot that links all three acts in this week’s Premier League soap opera.

Many of the rich men who now own England’s top clubs want a more influential role in their clubs. They want to bring in the players they would like to see wearing their club shirts, perhaps to help their global brands or to boost sales or awareness in their other enterprises.

It’s a policy that can leave a manager with a team he might not feel entirely comfortable with and it is one that is not necessarily going to bring success.

Putting together title-winning teams is a far more complex science than opening
up a cheque book. Alex Ferguson’s Manchester United are testimony to that.

Everyone wants to be as big as United, but they are a big club because, at the heart of everything at Old Trafford, Ferguson, a football man, controls a football team.

That’s not a coincidence.

PHOTO: Alex Ferguson takes his seat before United’s pre-season friendly against Peterborough United, August 4, 2008. REUTERS/Darren Staples

The soap opera that is the English Premier League continued on Wednesday with its first managerial departure — Alan Curbishley resigning as manager of West Ham three games into the new season.

Whilst Manchester City fans were still pinching themselves at becoming one of the world’s richest clubs, Curbishley has quit his post despite two wins from his opening three league games.

Curbishley was reportedly disappointed with the decision to sell Anton Ferdinand to Sunderland and said last week: “As far as I am concerned there won’t be any more players leaving before the window closes,” only for George McCartney to depart on transfer deadline day, again to Sunderland.

West Ham posted a statement, before Curbishley’s announcement, defending their transfer activity: “The transfers of Anton Ferdinand and George McCartney along with the release of Freddie Ljungberg were right for the club and decisions had to be taken based on our best long-term interests,” the statement read.

Anyone thinking the closing of the transfer window and the break for international matches would make the Premier League dull for the next 10 days have been proved wrong. All eyes will now revert back to Newcastle and the future of their manager Kevin Keegan who could soon follow Curbishley.

West Ham’s next manager will be their fifth in the last seven years since Harry Redknapp left in 2001, a stark contrast to the six managers they had in an 88-year period from 1902 to 1990.

Should Curbishley have quit? And who should replace him? Vote on that at our poll here.

FILE PHOTO: Alan Curbishley gestures before a West Ham game. REUTERS/Alessia Pierdomenico