Left field

The Reuters global sports blog

Quiet day for April Fools

April 1, 2009

I’ve been scouting around for some sporting April Fools but I’ve not spotted many good ones.

Maybe some websites and blogs have held off on the jokes given the state of the world economy is no laughing matter.

Gazzetta dello Sport’s French football blog Sotto La Tour Eiffel says Zinedine Zidane will come out of retirement to play for Marseille.

Have you seen any better April Fools? We are assuming of course that Alan Shearer is really going to manage Newcastle United. However, there has been no official confirmation so far…

Comments

There was this news running in goal.com about Ronaldo, Kaka, Terry and Ronaldinho all joining Man City for huge sums of money… that one had my eyes poppin out for a while… :D

Posted by Ripper | Report as abusive
 

I’ve seen one resurface time and again in the past two weeks: Liverpool will win the Premier League.

Posted by Red Devil | Report as abusive
 

No point looking to Spain for April Fools. They have their equivalent on Dec 28, “el dia de los inocentes” (and some may remember an infamous one about the Nou Camp losing the Champions League final in 1999 because of ‘aluminosis’)

Posted by Kevin Fylan | Report as abusive
 

My favourite was one from the Guardian about 15 years ago when they did a joint interview with Bamber Gascoige and his son, Paul. Guess you have to be English to appreciate that one.

Posted by Kevin Fylan | Report as abusive
 

Absolute cracker out of Ukraine today. Reputable TV station were reporting six England players had been involved in a brawl, and that Capello was trying to get the game postponed. The two teams just so happen to be playing tonight, wonder if word will get out and England will be put off their stride?

Posted by Tom | Report as abusive
 

I`ve received this earlier today:
Armstrong perfects aero position with surgery

By Lorne Wisely

Was this Lance’s only operation?
Photo ©: Astana

During the height of his career Lance Armstrong was famous for taking
every possible step to perfect his aerodynamic position on the bike
because, during the Tour de France, “every second counts”. Since his
return to the sport, he has yet to dominate in the race against the
clock. Insider sources have revealed to Cyclingnews that the American
recently underwent a radical, secret surgery to alter his physique to
help cheat the wind.

Following his crash in the Vuelta a Castilla y Leon, where Armstrong
fractured his right collarbone, he flew back to his Austin, Texas
home. Once back in Texas he had surgery – supposedly to repair the
clavicle which, doctors insisted, was broken into four pieces.

Sources within the Armstrong camp explained that initial reports that
the break was a single, clean fracture were true. But the seven-time
Tour winner had been told he could shave seconds per kilometre off of
his time trials if only his shoulders weren’t so broad. The American
decided that, since he faced several weeks of recovery from the broken
bone anyhow, he might as well go through with a plan which would
shorten both clavicles and narrow the width of his upper body.

Doctors cut out a section of the right clavicle before putting the
bone back together with a plate and screws, then moved over to the
previously intact left collarbone to duplicate the procedure. The
surgery marks the first time an athlete has undergone such a radical
surgery to gain a performance boost.

The extreme measure was taken with a view toward the Giro d’Italia’s
stage 12 time trial from Sestri Levante to Riomaggiore which, at
61.7km, is the longest individual test of Armstrong’s career and could
well be the decisive stage of the tour.

“We did everything we could in the wind tunnel to shave fractions of
seconds off of Lance’s times – Trek invented new technology to cheat
the wind on the bike, Nike used space-age technology to create the
world’s most aerodynamic skinsuit… but there was no getting around
the fact that Lance’s frontal area was just bigger than other riders,”
a spokesman said.

“The surgeons took two centimetres off of both collarbones and then
screwed the bones back together,” he added. “With the titanium plates
holding the bones in place, Lance is already cleared to get back on
the trainer. He was so eager to find out how much more aerodynamic he
is that we flew straight away to San Diego to do some tests in the
wind tunnel. And boy, oh boy, all I can say is watch out!”

 

Thanks for that, balint. That’s absolute class. Best one I’ve seen so far.

Posted by Kevin Fylan | Report as abusive
 

According to the Sun, Daniel Agger is going to set tattoos on all Liverpool players if they win the Premier League this season.

That’s the best I could find. :P

 

The BBC have unearthed a formula one april fool from Toro Rosso but it’s hard work, to be honest:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/f1mole/2009/0 4/toro-rosso-tease-with-april-fo.html

Posted by Kevin Fylan | Report as abusive
 

Anyone who follow the Bundesliga, there is one out of the 11Freunde website today which says that Steffan Effenberg (formerly of Bayern Munich and Borussia Moenchengladbach) will become the new general manager at Schalke. To be honest for a moment, I believed it was really the case! I think so far that is only time I got duped.

On a serious note, Schalke is still looking for a general manager, and a coach as well after both Andreas Mueller and Fred Rutten had been dismissed recently respectively. Croatia coach Slaven Bilic had said ahead of preparing for his side’s World Cup qualifier against Andorra that Schalke officials met him in Zagreb for the vacant coaching position while it was eventually made known through Schalke’s website that it never took place. Whatever the case, Bilic is definitely not heading to Schalke. And that is no April Fools’ joke.

 

tks diana. A few years ago Bayern Munich put a story on their website saying they were signing David Beckham. That fooled a few people…

Posted by Kevin Fylan | Report as abusive
 

Local radio is ‘breaking the news’ that Pavel Bure will come out of retirement to play for the NHL’s Vancouver Canucks.

 

That’s more like it! Pavel Bure is a legend (http://canuckslegends.blogspot.com/2006  /05/pavel-bure.html). We need more jokes on this sort of scale. Most of them so far have been a little too low key.

Posted by Kevin Fylan | Report as abusive
 

The Sun: “ENGLAND fans should brace themselves for tonight’s World Cup qualifier against Ukraine — they’ll have to stand through the world’s longest national anthem. The Three Lions’ opponents have been granted special permission to play the full 6½-minute version of Oi Ukrainy (…) FIFA agreed to the extended anthem after the visitors claimed it would boost key players, such as ex-Chelsea striker Andriy Shevchenko and Liverpool flop Andriy Voronin”.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/new s/article2353120.ece

Posted by Antonella Ciancio | Report as abusive
 

on our local tv, they mentioned that Thierry Henry will come back to EPL as Tottenham player :D

 

Well yesterday in our little country of Mauritius #1 radio station was announced the fracture of Fernando Torres left limb, which would keep him out of the game for 6 to 8 months.

Posted by Red and Devilish | Report as abusive
 

I saw this one yesterday about alan shearer going back to manage newcastle. What was that? Oh.

Posted by jamesy | Report as abusive
 

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