Left field

Tri-Nations stranglehold a potential problem for rugby

Northern hemisphere hopes are raised at the start of every November but by the end of the month it has usually become crystal clear that the Tri-Nations’ stranglehold on world rugby remains as tight as ever.

Already, after the opening exchanges produced a 3-0 sweep for the south last Saturday, the imbalance is there for all to see.

Rugby’s problem, with so few major national teams playing the game, is that it will not be long before fans just get bored with the same old same old.

New Zealand were not exactly comfortable in beating England at Twickenham but they did win by 10 points and always seemed able to add to their tally whenever the hosts drew close.

Australia, despite again looking weak in the scrum, brushed past Wales 25-16 while South Africa shook off a dire Tri-Nations campaign to beat Ireland much more convincingly than the 23-21 scoreline suggests.

Those wins meant that since 2005, in all fixtures, the Tri Nations v Six Nations scoreboard stands at 79-16 in the former’s favour.

Six of the northern wins belong to France, though, in balance, 12 of the defeats – out of 12 contests – belong to Italy.

Italy fight haka with their very own rugby tenor

How about this for a job swap. Former Italy rugby international Denis Dallan will sing the national anthem before the Azzurri’s test with New Zealand at Milan’s San Siro on Saturday.

Dallan, who picked up 42 caps between 1999 and 2007, fancies himself as a tenor and will boom out what has to be one of the world’s most upbeat national anthems to 80,000 people.

It’s the biggest rugby crowd ever in Italy and the beefy 31-year-old is up against the angelic Elizabeth Marvelly singing the New Zealand song before the All Blacks do their haka.

Don’t get nervous Denis. Next stop, La Scala.

PHOTO: Italy’s left wing Denis Dallan (L) is tackled by Geordan Murphy of Ireland during their Six Nations match at the Flaminio Stadium in Rome February 22, 2003. REUTERS/Giampiero Sposito

All Blacks arrive without the aura

Roughly once a decade throughout the 20th century, a group of South Seas islanders in the guise of the New Zealand All Blacks would invade Europe to teach the old world the ways of the new.

There were reverses, notably at the hands of Wales in 1905, 1935 and 1953, three of the first four games between the two small rugby-mad nations. But the win-loss ratio remained overwhelmingly in favour of the All Blacks, whose distinctive all-black uniform and pre-match haka (Maori war dance) enhanced their special aura.

Familiarity, the curse of modern sport with its perpetually swelling fixture lists, has inevitably diluted the appeal of the All Blacks who now visit Europe once a year along with the other southern hemisphere nations.

There are, though, more fundamental reasons for querying a common assumption that the All Blacks are the once and future kings of world rugby.

Their record against European opposition is still undeniably impressive. Under head coach Graham Henry, New Zealand have won 16 times in Europe and lost just once since 2004.

That defeat, though, is more significant than all the wins put together.

Dismissed on the official All Blacks website as a “blemish”, the 20-18 Cardiff loss to France in the 2007 World Cup quarter-finals represents the earliest exit for New Zealand at the quadrennial tournament.

A bunch of fives from Jonah Lomu

I have big hands and am 6-ft 4-ins. I can palm a basketball, and dunk it — just about. It’s not often meeting athletes I feel weedy.

Until the All Blacks and Wallabies came to town.

Last weekend’s Bledisloe Cup test in Tokyo between the hulking trans-Tasman rivals prompted me to dust down the Dunlop Green Flash and renew my lapsed gym membership. For that I thank them.

I was less happy at being winded by All Blacks captain Richie McCaw and having the bones in my right hand crushed by Jonah Lomu when I interviewed him ahead of his comeback to the game later this month.

McCaw believed he had “rumbled” me when I asked about his blocked nose after a news conference.

“Not swine flu or anything is it?”

“No, mate, just a broken nose.”

Rugby’s hard-but-fair reputation has always been a myth

Colin Meads, regarded by most New Zealanders as the greatest All Black of them all, delivers a diverting after-dinner speech in a self-deprecating “aw shucks” hill farmer’s style with a bottle of beer firmly clutched in a large fist.

It is only after the laughter subsides that the listener realises with a twinge of unease that the majority of the anecdotes involve Meads using one or both of his large fists to thump a member of the opposition. Illegal then and illegal now, it’s worth recalling now amid all the hot air spouted over the Harlequins fake blood scandal.

The saga of a Harlequins winger biting on a fake blood capsule in order to get a goal-kicking replacement on to the field in a Heineken Cup quarter-final has gripped the English media.

It follows revelations that young men who happen to play rugby for a living can be tempted by recreational drugs (see the Justin Harrison story), not unlike their contemporaries in other walks of life.

A mystifying aspect of the outrage is the underlying assumption that rugby players inhabit a universe where men play hard but fair adhering to the stern dictates of an unspoken code.

Which is, and has always been, nonsense.

Hard, certainly. Fair? Hardly.

This glorious, unpredictable northern festival

You wouldn’t have got great odds on Wales and France coming out on top against England and Scotland respectively on the first day of the second weekend of the Six Nations.

But England beating Wales in the try count at the Millennium Stadium and Scotland taking the game to the French the way they did in St Denis were not forecasts I’d read anywhere.

And that, of course, is the beauty of this marvellous northern hemisphere winter ritual, where world beaters one week can become humbled also rans the next.  

In the southern hemisphere, the Super 14 got underway this weekend in what our man in Sydney, Julian Linden, described as an “extraordinary” opening round of matches.

Despite close matches and the host of away winners, however, one element of the competition remained the same – the Canterbury Crusaders won their opener.

The New Zealanders have won seven of the 13 titles since the Super 12 started in 1996. When they haven’t won, as often than not their compatriots the Blues have claimed it.

The All Blacks have had a similar grip on the Tri-Nations, winning nine of the 13 tournaments and six of the last seven.