Left field

Venter leaves a cult hero for exposing interview hypocrisy

Brendan Venter, Saracen’s idiosyncratic coach, has returned home to South Africa leaving opinion sharply divided in Britain after a surreal televison interview which has won him a cult following on YouTube.

In response to nine questions in 57 seconds, Venter parodied a parody after Saracens had lost a Heineken Cup match to Racing Metro.

Venter, who was fined for his outspoken comments in a post-match interview last October, this time decided to emulate a character in the spoof film “Mike Bassett; England manager”.

To this end he repeated or agreed to the questions asked by an increasingly frustrated Sky television interviewer.

For example.

“Why didn’t you win?”

“Ah, good question that. Very good question. Win. It’s important to win, it is important to win. We must try harder, absolutely.”

All Blacks arrive without the aura

Roughly once a decade throughout the 20th century, a group of South Seas islanders in the guise of the New Zealand All Blacks would invade Europe to teach the old world the ways of the new.

There were reverses, notably at the hands of Wales in 1905, 1935 and 1953, three of the first four games between the two small rugby-mad nations. But the win-loss ratio remained overwhelmingly in favour of the All Blacks, whose distinctive all-black uniform and pre-match haka (Maori war dance) enhanced their special aura.

Familiarity, the curse of modern sport with its perpetually swelling fixture lists, has inevitably diluted the appeal of the All Blacks who now visit Europe once a year along with the other southern hemisphere nations.

There are, though, more fundamental reasons for querying a common assumption that the All Blacks are the once and future kings of world rugby.

Their record against European opposition is still undeniably impressive. Under head coach Graham Henry, New Zealand have won 16 times in Europe and lost just once since 2004.

That defeat, though, is more significant than all the wins put together.

Dismissed on the official All Blacks website as a “blemish”, the 20-18 Cardiff loss to France in the 2007 World Cup quarter-finals represents the earliest exit for New Zealand at the quadrennial tournament.

Rugby’s hard-but-fair reputation has always been a myth

Colin Meads, regarded by most New Zealanders as the greatest All Black of them all, delivers a diverting after-dinner speech in a self-deprecating “aw shucks” hill farmer’s style with a bottle of beer firmly clutched in a large fist.

It is only after the laughter subsides that the listener realises with a twinge of unease that the majority of the anecdotes involve Meads using one or both of his large fists to thump a member of the opposition. Illegal then and illegal now, it’s worth recalling now amid all the hot air spouted over the Harlequins fake blood scandal.

The saga of a Harlequins winger biting on a fake blood capsule in order to get a goal-kicking replacement on to the field in a Heineken Cup quarter-final has gripped the English media.

It follows revelations that young men who happen to play rugby for a living can be tempted by recreational drugs (see the Justin Harrison story), not unlike their contemporaries in other walks of life.

A mystifying aspect of the outrage is the underlying assumption that rugby players inhabit a universe where men play hard but fair adhering to the stern dictates of an unspoken code.

Which is, and has always been, nonsense.

Hard, certainly. Fair? Hardly.

Tri-Nations waves goodbye to tedious kick-and-chase

Australia’s shock win over South Africa in Saturday’s Tri-Nations breathed new life into a series that was in real danger of fizzling out.

The Wallabies’ 21-6 win not only stalled South Africa’s seemingly unstoppable march to this year’s title but also provided some much needed entertainment.

Most of the previous matches in this year’s series had been reduced to a glorified kicking contest with all three teams resorting to the same tedious kick and chase tactics normally reserved for the nothern hemisphere teams.

In the seven games played by the southern hemisphere giants this series, only once has a team managed to scored four tries to earn a bonus point.

That was a week ago when South Africa beat a woeful Australia 32-25 in Perth, a result the world champions a commanding nine-point lead in the standings.

But just when everything seemed to be over, the combination of South Africa’s comfortable position at the top of the table and Australia’s desperation after losing four on the trot, helped produce a classic match on Saturday.

Rugby union’s black summer

It has been a black summer for rugby as the game that likes to claim the moral high ground in matters sporting has been exposed as being perfectly able get down in the gutter with the best of them.

On Saturday Dean Richards, a former policeman and stoic rugby stalwart for three decades, resigned as director of rugby at Harlequins in the wake of the London club’s shenanigans in their Heineken Cup quarter-final defeat by Leinster last season.

Tom Williams was banned for 12 months for faking a blood injury when he spat out a gush of bright red liquid – his fate all but sealed by a sit-com wink to the bench captured in all its dumb glory by TV cameras.

Quins were also fined 215,000 pounds for  their role in the incident – or their refusal to co-operate fully in the subsequent investigation – and Heineken Cup officials have appealed against Richards and club medical staff being cleared of any wrong-doing.

The whole thing was underhand and sneaky and Harlequins, the club who operate in the shadow of Twickenham stadium and with a long reputation for Corinthian values, should hang their collective heads in shame.

Things are not much brighter at Bath, a club at the centre of that city’s heartbeat but now ripped asunder by the banning of four players for drug-related offences.

The account of the all-day bender that ended with former Australia lock Justin Harrison flattened by a punch from a Harlequins player after snorting what he later admitted was cocaine made shocking reading.

South Africa survive stirring Lions fightback — your views

A mighty fightbcak from the Lions fell just short on Saturday as South Africa held on for a 26-21 vicotry in the first test in Durban.

The Lions were outplayed comprehensively in the first half but they dominated the last half hour or so, with a second try from Tom Croft and one from Mike Phillips, and gave South Africa a real fright.

So will such a positive second-half performance be enough to inspire a Lions comeback in this series?

As noted by Mitch Phillips, who was at the match for Reuters, only once before, against Australia in 1989, have the Lions lost the first test and come back to win the series.

More from Mitch later, but for now, let us know what you think of the Lions comeback chances in the comments.

PHOTO: South Africa’s Bakkies Botha (top) and British and Irish Lions Brian O’Driscoll scuffle during the first test match in Durban, June 20, 2009. REUTERS/Rogan Ward

Players, fans unite behind the Lions

All professional sportsmen talk about how important their supporters are but when it comes to the British and Irish Lions there really is a special bond.

Defying the credit crunch, up to 30,000 fans are expected to travel to South Africa to follow the Lions in their three-test series against the world champions.

Those fans, who spend most of their time in opposition as they follow England, Wales, Scotland or Ireland, are, like the players, united in one cause for a few weeks every four years.

They are united in colours too, as the red shirt of the Lions — which adidas say will be by far their biggest seller of the year — is everywhere.

The players appreciate the efforts made by the supporters and, unlike in most other modern professional sports, are not afraid to mingle with them.

Most of the Lions were out and about on Thursday and Friday, signing autographs, posing for photographs and, get this footballers, actually chatting about the sport they share a passion for.

When a police car slowed down as it approached a knot of fans surrounding Wales centre Jamie Roberts on Thursday it was merely to shout “what will the score be?” followed by a dismissive laugh when the fans suggested a 3-0 sweep for the tourists.

Things warming up nicely on the South African sporting front

The South African sporting public were a little underwhelmed by the early stages of the Confederations Cup and the British and Irish Lions tour but the last few days has seen a major turnaround and there is now something in the air.

Relatively high ticket prices combined with the Sprinboks’ decision to keep their players out of their Super 14 teams combined to ensure the early provincial games were played against a backdrop of empty seats.

Now, however, with the first test looming on Saturday, a ticket for King’s Park is like gold dust. The few thousand Lions fans who followed the team round the country over the first three weeks have been joined by a massive influx for the tests.

Estimates are that more than 30,000 will arrive for some part of the tour and they were out in force in Durban this week. Balmy seaside temperatures, good cheap food and, vitally, even cheaper beer, makes the coastal resort a dream destination for rugby tourists.

Organised groups, more often than not bedecked in matching tour shirts, are fillling the oceanside bars by night, while taking advantage of the wonderful opportunities South Africa has to offer by day.

While everyone has an opinion on whether the Boks should or should not have played a warm-up match and on the Proteas’ prospects in cricket’s World Twenty20, the efficiency of Iraq’s back four in the Confederations Cup has not been at the conversational fore.

However, South Africa’s victory over New Zealand on Wednesday has stirred things up and, with the World Cup less than a year away, previously pessimistic fans are warming again to their side, who are well-placed to reach the semi-finals of this dry-run tournament on home soil.

When you don’t want to see your name on the teamsheet

One of the most painful memories from my schooldays was the prolonged torture of being left in the playground on my lunch break, looking on as the cool kids picked all my friends ahead of me for the lunch break football match desperately wishing I could be selected.

A similar scenario, albeit with reversed emotions, would have occurred on Monday morning in a South African hotel as British and Irish Lions coach Ian McGeechan named his team to play against the Southern Kings just four days before the first test.

The whole squad knew that selection in the starting line-up would leave little hope of making the test XV. A place on the bench meant you’re likely to be involved in the test 22 and being left out for Tuesday meant you’re a test certainty.

Armed with that rule of thumb, we can now expect the Lions team to face South Africa in Durban to be the following:

15-Lee Byrne, 14-Tommy Bowe, 13-Brian O’Driscoll, 12-Jamie Roberts, 11-Ugo Monye, 10-Stephen Jones, 9-Mike Phillips; 8-Jamie Heaslip, 7-Martyn Williams, 6-Tom Croft, 5-Paul O’Connell, 4-Alun Wyn Jones, 3-Phil Vickery, 2-Lee Mears, 1-Gethin Jenkins.

Locks Simon Shaw and Nathan Hines and Irish winger Luke Fitzgerald are the only players who have any realistic hope of changing McGeechan’s mind but it will take a very memorable performance against the Kings, unless there is an injury.

PHOTO: A rugby fan with the colours of the South African flag painted on his face looks on before the start of the opening match of the Lions tour, May 30, 2009. REUTERS/Siphiwe Sibeko

My British & Irish Lions All-Time Best XV

The rarity value of the Lions’ tours adds to their romance. Once every four years they travel, alternately, to South Africa, Australia and New Zealand and, every four years, the temptation for pundits to choose a Lions All Time Best XV becomes irresistible.

It certainly was in my case, and here is my stab at picking the best XV.

I don’t expect anyone will agree with my choices completely, and please let me know in the comments where you think I’ve gone wrong. Anyway, here goes…

Fullback: JPR Williams (Wales). Stalwart of the 1971 side in New Zealand and a sensation in South Africa three years later, unflinching under the high ball and a fearless tackler. Took maximum advantage of the change in laws prohibiting kicking out on the full in the defenders’ 22 to become one of the game’s great counter-attackers.

Right wing: Tony O’Reilly (Ireland). Powerfully built and fast, O’Reilly scored 16 tries in South Africa in 1955 and a record 22 in Australia and New Zealand four years later. He was equally successful in business and became one of Ireland’s wealthiest men.

Left wing: Gerald Davies (Wales). The complete winger with lightning speed and a devastating side-step. A converted centre, he would play out of position in this side instead of O’Reilly because of his versatility.

Centres: