Tales from the Trail

Jokes, arguments on airlines risk prison time in U.S.

Flying these days has become a pretty serious and daunting endeavor in the wake of the failed bombing attempt on the Amsterdam-to-Detroit flight on Christmas day. And U.S. officials appear to be putting the word out — don’t mess with us.

Two plane incidents last week — one plane bound for Hawaii returned to Portland, Oregon and another flight diverted to Colorado Springs, Colorado — have resulted in two men being charged with interfering with a flight crew which carries a maximum 20-year prison sentence if convicted.

In the incident involving a Hawaiian Airlines flight to Kahului, a passenger seated in the exit row of the plane was unhappy that he could not store his carry-on bag where he had easy access to it and decided to fill out a comment card.

SECURITY-AIRLINE/The passenger, identified in court documents as Joseph Johnson, sealed the card and gave it to a flight attendant, but it was opened and the crew became concerned about the content. The pilot  decided to turn the plane back to Portland and Johnson was taken off the plane.

Johnson wrote on the card, which he said he filled out as a joke, that he “thought I was going to die, we were so high up, I thought to myself: I hope we don’t crash and burn, or worse yet, landing in the ocean, living through it, only to be eaten by sharks, or worse yet, end up on someplace like Gilligans Island, stranded, or worse yet, be eaten by a tribe of headhunters…”

Must be nice to have Air Force Two for trips amid flu outbreak

SPORT MOTOR RACING DAYTONAVice President Joe Biden, in the doghouse for saying he would advise his family against flying or taking the subway because of the new flu strain, will be taking a trip to Europe in a couple weeks — but then again he probably doesn’t have to worry too much since he has his own plane.

Biden drew widespread scorn from the travel industry and pretty much everyone else for saying on NBC’s “Today Show” that he would “tell members of my family — and I have — I wouldn’t go anywhere in confined places now,” he said, adding that the problem was that “when one person sneezes it goes all the way through the aircraft.”

The White House had to clarify his comments, advising Americans that they really only needed to avoid unnecessary travel to and from Mexico and that they should stay home if they were not feeling well.