By Neil Chatterjee
    The U.S. has promised it will hunt down tax evaders.
    And it seems tax evaders are on the run.
    DBS bank, based in the growing offshore financial centre of
Singapore, told Reuters it had been approached by U.S. citizens
asking for its private banking services. But when told they would
have to sign U.S. tax declaration forms, the potential clients
disappeared.  
    Swiss banks also approached DBS on the hope they could
offload troublesome U.S. clients to a location that so far has
not been reached by the strong arms of Washington or Brussels.
    DBS said no thanks. In fact many private banks and boutique
advisors now seem to be avoiding U.S. clients.
    Will this spread to other nationalities, as governments
invest in tax spies and tax havens invest in white paint?
    Is this the end of offshore private private banking?

Die-hard UBS investors who have stayed with the bank through thick and thin are hoping new boss Oswald Gruebel (sitting) will return the Swiss icon to its former splendour thanks to a bitter medicine of thousands of new layoffs and heavy cost cuts announced on Wednesday.

But their patience is running out.

"The only reason why we are still with UBS is because hope dies last. But if this carries on, we will not tolerate it anymore," said Blandina Heyne, a UBS investor for seven years, as she and her husband came to attend the bank's annual general meeting in Zurich.

Both clients and shareholders have turned their back to Switzerland's largest bank after the crisis forced UBS to post the biggest loss in Swiss corporate history and shares plummeted to historic lows.

Shareholder anger forced former CEO Marcel Rohner to quit in February and chairman Peter Kurer (standing) was giving his last speech on Wednesday before leaving his job after just one year of what some investors say are empty promises.

"When I was little my mother used to read me one of these bedtime stories from the Grimm's brothers and she said they were the greatest fairytales ever written," shareholder Rudolph Weber says.  "She got it wrong. It was Mr Kurer who wrote the greatest fairytale."

Gruebel, a no-nonsense German who once turned around UBS' rival Credit Suisse, told the shareholder assembly the bank would post yet another loss and announced thousands of job cuts.

"I have been with UBS for almost 20 years and never thought they would disappoint me," said 68-year-old Christina Sutter.  "Despite all this talk of crisis I always had the impression that UBS's "Swissness" gave it a degree of immunity."

 - Josie Cox and Lisa Jucca

(Reuters photo: Arnd Wiegman)

Bankers are having a rough time of it lately.  It is not just that their companies are collapsing beneath them and their bonuses are the subject of global hate and derision. They also have to put up with the barbs of journalists (who are very familiar with being at the bottom of the popularity pile).

The latest example comes from Tim Dowling, scribbling away for Britain's Guardian newspaper.  Mr Dowling has penned a useful primer for bankers who suddenly find themselves living in the real world.

You can read the complete guide by clicking here.  But Global Investing's favourite tip concerns the use of London's celebrated buses:

"When a bus comes into view, raise your right hand as if you were hailing a taxi. Get on at the front and tell the driver where you are going. He will name a price. Haggling is frowned upon, as is suggesting a route. Buses have no business class as such, but the top deck, if there is one, offers superior views."

So cruel. So very cruel.