Labour was destined for defeat at the next election and British Prime Minister Gordon Brown said he wasn’t going to step down.
The Labour Party conference in Manchester had been predictably subdued.
The only story in town had been who was going to have the guts to turn Judas.
And to cap it all off, there was to be a speech from a man renowned for repeating anodyne phrases like “long-term decisions” and “sustainable future” ad infinitum.
But then something changed. In walked New Brown.
New Brown somehow convinced the party faithful in the hall — at least for today — that they can win the next election under his leadership.
And then there was the “human touch” of New Brown.
We’ve all heard how awkward and dour Old Brown used to be, how out of touch with normal people he was, how unlike that charming Tony Blair…
But today New Brown skipped on to the stage, cracked funny gags and had not one, but two kisses on the lips for his wife Sarah as the lengthy standing ovation reverberated around the hall.
The audience had obviously got wind of New Brown, because they were sold long before he strolled in.
Groups of ladies disco-danced to M People and T-Rex in their chairs as the hall filled up. There were whistles and whoops when New Brown strolled in.
They all clapped along dutifully to a short film of Labour’s achievements in power as Jackie Wilson’s Higher And Higher blared out.
It was all a little bit Baptist church, a little bit Butlins — maybe even a little bit Blair.
There will be much celebration and self-congratulating in the trendy bars of Manchester as Labourites raise their glasses to New Brown tonight.
But when the hangovers ease and the Labour Party spaceship relocates to London, will the plotters really stop plotting? And will the opinion polls turn around?
The Labour faithful believes in New Brown today. Do you?
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11 comments so far
before he took over from Tony, I wasn’t surehow he would do; a bit like getting a master joiner to do a plumbing job, but he has shown he has determination and grit, unlike MR Bean, oops sorry Milliband.
I wish the British public would stop acting like teenagers who have been told their allowance has been cut. Sometimes decisions have to be made for the good of everybody that may seem hard but in the long run work out, what acceptable alternatives have been put forward??
People find it easy to critisize, helping would be better. Forget bickering and party politics make Britain a place we WANT it to be.
Well done Gordon
- Posted by jas kellNew Brown?
I think his reception owed more to the Old Labour tactic of “You vill cheer for ze Leader - or your expense claims vill be published in ze newspapers!”.
Brown isn’t the only part of the Socialist machine that is horribly predictable.
- Posted by AndyThis is all priceless, utterly priceless. Future generations will envy us as we tell the story of how we witnessed the final death throes of socialism in this country (AKA “jobs for the boys, and if you play your cards right, you don’t even have to work”). I sincerely support Brown’s decision to fight on, heaven forbid that they might find someone else slightly more acceptable to the vast majority of right-minded British people, who in a couple of years are going to give them the biggest electoral hiding since records began.
- Posted by MatthewWas it only me who noticed the patronising look Mililband gave Brown when he patted him on the back after his conference speech?
Still, what would we do without these people for light entertainment.
If I were a politician the thing I’d be most worried about would be compliments from competitors - oops colleagues.
- Posted by Stephen DeenMillions of low and low middle earners in Britain are badly affected by the unfair COUNCIL TAX system. All Brown and his cronies have to do to win the next election, is to change the system from the present “No account of ability to pay”, to a local based income tax.
- Posted by Rick HesslewoodWATCH THIS SPACE.
I wish him well but, fact is, I judge by deeds not words, so let’s have deeds. I know times are hard. I think he could have done better as Chancellor (I’m one of apparently few who thinks he was pretty useless - it’s easy to be a “good” chancellor when the policy is credit expansion but I’ll never forgive him raiding the pension funds or selling the gold reserves).
I don’t think he can do much about the economy except to extricate us wherever possible from the US but I agree that he could do something about a fair Council Tax.
So, nice speech and if he can show some evidence of implementing these “promises” then…good.
- Posted by DaneI think labour has no choice but to back ‘New[ [or old] Brown. It is perhaps too late to choose a new leader who can influnce postively in favour of the party in the next election. Labour backbenchers and plotters better go with Brown and sail or sink with him.
- Posted by Dr suresh samaniLooks as though the New Brown “human touch” was a bit too much for Ms Kelly.
- Posted by PeterGordon brown will do anything to hang on to power, ANYTHING. He has doubled government spending over the last ten years and the only people who have benefitted are those that work for the government. Gordon Brown really believes that government is a good thing and that we want it!!! When in fact most people instinctively know that government is a bad thing and the less we have of the better.
- Posted by AllpointsnorthThe speech seemed like a Budget! There were a number of “I can now announce” lines.
- Posted by AdamThis is a “slash & burn” government, desparately spending to buy votes. Now we have proposed free school lunches, which in true Labour style, are justified by “savings” on obesity costs.
“Mr Prudent” is being revealed for what he is, an unchanged “old Labour” spend and taxer and a man who endlessly moves goal posts. He tells us he will be tough until the moment it becomes difficult!
The results while be the same, a budget and current account crisis, falling £ and wasted legacy.
Going, going ….. GONE!!!!
- Posted by Jason