You have to ask yourself, following last night’s opening episode of the fifth series of reality show “The Apprentice”, why lawyers even bother entering the competition. Sir Alan Sugar reportedly has little time for legal eagles and it was pretty clear, once her team had lost the first task, that poor Anita Shah, pictured, was going to be the first one booted out of the competition.

Mind you, she was pretty useless.

The show’s opening claim that the candidates, who are competing for a job with Sir Alan Sugar and a six figure salary, are “Britain’s brightest business prospects” is patently untrue. “The Apprentice” seems to have adopted the Big Brother mantra of selecting candidates not for their worth but because of their oversized egos, unwarranted self-belief and willingness (in some cases eagerness) to stab each other in the back.

Bill Gates and Sir Richard Branson did not get to where they are today by saying things like “To me making money is better than sex” (contestant Ben Clarke) and “Business is the new rock ‘n’ roll and I’m Elvis Presley” (Philip Taylor, an estate agent).

Best of all was Business Development Manager Majid Nagra’s assertion that “Business is the backbone to this world, without companies buying and selling there wouldn’t be any economy.” Thanks for that.

Anita said modestly that “I have the rainbow of skills” and “people want to chat with me.”

Wrong! As it turned out, Sir Alan Sugar had heard enough as the girls team Ignite lost the challenge in which they had to go and earn money cleaning cars (or not as it turned out - they couldn’t get the power washer working).

Neither team earned very much money and the boys team, Empire, jet-washed cars with the doors open. Margaret Mountford, Sir Alan’s aide-de-camp, said, Churchill-esque: “Never before in the history of car washing have so few cars been washed by so many people in such a long time.”

Back in the boardroom the show’s producers got what they wanted as the candidates wasted no time savaging each other in an attempt to save themselves from the words, “You’re fired!”

But it was Anita who exited stage right, using her taxi monologue to fire a parting shot at the Big Boss. “I just think that Sir Alan doesn’t particularly like lawyers. Let’s see in 10 years if he doesn’t sit and think: maybe I made the wrong decision.”

Then again, maybe he won’t.

One thing is for sure though - it all makes fabulous telly.

What did you think of last night’s “The Apprentice” curtain raiser? Share your thoughts with us below.