“The Apprentice” candidates not worth very much

April 29, 2009

The chief villain of the latest series of “The Apprentice”, now at the half-way stage, is undoubtedly Belfast-born Ben Clarke, who has wound up not just his fellow contestants and Sir Alan Sugar but everyone at home watching the show.

His claim three weeks ago that he should not be fired because he had “won a scholarship to Sandhurst” will surely become part of reality TV folklore. The former stockbroker is on top form again this week, when viewers finally get to see if he can live up to his own hype as project manager of team Empire.

Ignite, meanwhile, get motor-mouth Philip (pictured), the second most obnoxious contestant on the show and the man responsible for last week’s cereal box character, “pants man”.

This week the candidates are given an inventory of bric-a-brac to sell and warned not to take any of the items at face value. The team which makes the most profit wins.

It is not long before cocky Ben is back doing what he does best – talking about himself. He says, modestly: “I am a natural born leader. Sandhurst clearly saw that in me and that’s why I got an army scholarship. Under those situations where I am under extreme pressure, i.e. heavy gunfire, explosions going off around me, people getting injured – that’s when I can bring a team together.” Something tells me Ben is proud of the fact he was once offered a scholarship to Sandhurst.

Deciding that time is money, Ben then rules that team Empire should not even bother having their items valued. His cheap, quick-sale techniques returns to haunt them in spectacular fashion.

Meanwhile, Philip tries to stay calm but his feud with Lorraine soon resurfaces. Lorraine is — understandably — convinced that an old Persian style rug is the prize item but Phillip ignores her advice and focuses on… a skeleton. Sir Alan’s adviser Margaret Mountford watches on in disbelief, saying: “This has got to be one of the most stupid activities they have yet engaged in.”

Which is really saying something.

“The Apprentice”, Wednesday April 29 at 9pm, BBC ONE.

5 comments

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Considering these crettins, sorry budding apprentices, were advertised as the cream of Britains aspiring business leaders, i have to say that after watching the first two episodes, hell would have to freeze over to for me to watch it again. Admittedly, it is great TV, but if they really are the best candidates, then heaven help Britain in the future.
To be honest, i am frankly amazed at how stupid the vast majority of them, actually are!

Posted by Blair Hunter | Report as abusive

But isn’t it the sign of a good officer that _none_ of his men get injured?

Posted by Ian Kemmish | Report as abusive

If these are the future business leaders of the UK, then this country is in trouble! By the way, Ben Clarke got the scholarship to Sandhurst, but never actually went!!! He is talking nonsense.

Posted by Gary | Report as abusive

Britain’s most prominsing business leaders. I think not.
Any young and genuinely succesful business person would not be lured out of their position by a, relatively speaking, small salary and low level job. Consider that the best business leaders will be earning well in excess of £100,000 and will no doubt want to build their own company/empire, not simply serve Sir Allan Sugar.

Posted by Iain | Report as abusive

Ben you’ve got to just love him haven’t you, time after time managing to dispel any confusion between his age and/or IQ. God knows what the selection board at Sandhurst must have thought of the bunch of no-hopers presented to them in which Ben was the stand out applicant. Another case of those damned positive discrimination doctrines in choosing the ‘best’ rather than ‘the best’ perhaps?

A couple of crackers by Sir Al, notable of which was the village missing an idiot sketch, viewers helped out no-end with Sir Alan adding James’ name to clarify which idiot he was referring too.

One of the highlights of this particular series is the token good looking blond bimbo being neither token or bimbo. Clarification of her blondness might sadly needing the aye or nay of a certain Yorkshire apprentice, no one can doubt the levels of competance shown regardless of which motley group she’s placed with.

Can’t wait for next week’s episode.

Will we see Deborah, the strangely attractive one, summon up the brainpower and vitriol to finally put Sir Alan in his place…….

BTW Deborah if your reading this – it’s at the top of the table and on top of his game.

Posted by Dave O'Carroll | Report as abusive