PLEASE let there be somebody out there

August 17, 2009

These are hard times for sweating hacks. Not a cloud in the sky, not an MP in town and — worst of all — not a whiff of a silly summer story in sight.

We can usually count on a few sharks off the Cornish coast but even they seem to have thought better of it this year. Japanese knotweed is pretty scary, and doing its best to get us all worried down in the West country but it’s no substitute for a dorsal fin or two off St Ives.

And now we’re cruelly told yet again there are no little green men from space. The Ministry of Defence has released files on UFO sightings reported in the 1980s and 90s, available on the National Archives.

Quite promising, some of it. Two men, for example, claim an alien with a lemon-shaped head tried to lure them into a glowing red spaceship as they returned from a night out in Staffordshire in 1995.

That generated a 15-page dossier, while the famous December 1980 sighting at Rendlesham Forest US air force base in Suffolk led to a former chief of defence staff warning Margaret Thatcher’s government not to be too scathing in its dismissal because the incident remained unexplained.

But as usual, however dramatic the sighting, we’re always told it was a weather balloon or something equally as disappointing. No master races, no alien abductions, no cigar-shaped craft or anything remotely exciting.

One day perhaps they’ll give us something to go on — and we all know they’re out there, don’t we? But until then we’ll just have to rely on daft squirrels popping up in tourist photos and the antics of celebs and politicos in the South of France to keep us going in the silly season.

Roll on the Autumn.


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the truth is out there

Posted by maid | Report as abusive

Oh come, come…. what about today’s story about William Golding? Surely the silly season is the perfect time to try and find out who the model for Piggy was, and what he’s doing now….

Posted by Ian Kemmish | Report as abusive

Surely this has created enough excitement amongst the tin-foil hat wearing conspirecy theorists regarding cover-ups from our lizard overlords to get a good story out of? “It’s the government, man – they don’t want you to know…”

Posted by Adam K | Report as abusive