I’m always amazed that anyone buys anything from the teams on “The Apprentice” - let alone the single most important purchase a woman may buy in her life.

People have bought lollipops, cars and even a wheelchair on the show in the past - but a wedding dress?

Yet daughters and their mothers paid up to 2,500 pounds at a Birmingham bridal fayre.

Admittedly, they bought more flip flops and thongs but, even so, they forked out the money encouraged by sales patter that included comments such as ”that looks gorgeous”and “that suits your colouring”.

The shop from where I bought my wedding dress had a principle of not commenting at all.

It was a bit disconcerting at first, but it ensured the decision was mine and there could be no regrets or recriminations.

The series has reached the stage when we should be able to choose our favourite to become the Apprentice, but I’m finding it easier to say who I don’t want to win.

Helene, who botched up this week’s task yet still managed to get rid of her second scapegoat Sara, has to be among those for her poor tactics and man management.

But ahead of her must be the self-professed “good Jewish boy” Michael who turns out to be only half-Jewish and mixes kosher with halal.

This week he told a bride-to-be that her chosen traditional wedding cake was dull. Nice one.

And Alex the pretty boy must go surely - the man who manages to merge into the background when things begin to go pear-shaped.

 Who’s your favourite - to be hired, or fired.

The cost of living and falling house prices, school tests, knife crime and pictures from the Chinese earthquake feature in Tuesday’s headlines. 

THE DAILY TELEGRAPH: Abolish Tests for Pupils at 11 and 14, Urge MPs

MPs who say pupils are being drilled to pass exams to inflate schools’ positions in league tables rather than being encouraged to learn, are calling for some tests to be scrapped, the paper says. Story here

DAILY EXPRESS: 415 pounds Jump in Energy Bills

The paper continues to say the cost of living is on the rise, this time pointing out that families face an increase in energy bills of 46 percent. Story here

DAILY MIRROR: Saint Jimmy

The paper quotes the mother of Jimmy Mizen, killed in an unprovoked attack in a London bakers, about how she believes her son will go to heaven. Story here

THE GUARDIAN: Thousands Die in China Quake

The paper describes how rescuers struggled to reach victims of the devastating earthquake that killed thousands of people in central China and trapped thousands more in the rubble of collapsed schools, factories, hospitals and homes. Story here

THE TIMES: Elite Police Abandon Hunt for Crime Lords

The special police squad set up to take on the barons of organised crime has gone back to the drawing board after prosecuting only a handful of the 130 figures it aimed to bring to book, the paper says. Story here

THE SUN: Licence to Kill

The paper runs with a dramatic headline and picture of a bloodied knife left on a street after a man was stabbed to death in Oxford Street. The paper says it came hours after courts were told to let knife yobs off with a slap on the wrist. Story here

THE INDEPENDENT: Housing Market Worst for 30 Years

Confidence in Britain’s housing market has sunk to its lowest level for more than 30 years, as property prices continue to fall and mortgage lenders restrict home loan finance, the paper says. Story here

FINANCIAL TIMES: Mounting Signs of Economic Slowdown

Poor economic figures revealed inflationary pressures are rising to levels not seen in nearly 20 years and new data due are expected to show important parts of the economy are stagnating. Story here 

DAILY MAIL: Now a Tax to Pay for Old Age

Every working family could face paying an “ageing tax” to provide care for the elderly, the prime minister proposed, the paper says. Story here

There were further potentially damaging revelations about Gordon Brown from within the Labour Party, claims about the rising cost of living, as well as coverage of Manchester United’s Premier League title win on Monday’s front pages.

DAILY EXPRESS: Family Tax Up 51 Percent

The tax burden has risen by 51 percent under Labour and the average family now pays a crippling 20,700 pounds a year, the paper says. Story here

FINANCIAL TIMES: Banks’ Losses to Hit Public Finances

Losses suffered by the country’s largest banks as a result of the global credit turmoil will add further pressure on the public finances by cutting the amount of corporation tax paid by the financial services industry, the paper says. Story here 

THE INDEPENDENT: Strawberry Fields Forsaken

Millions of pounds worth of soft fruit and vegetables are likely to be left to rot in fields this summer because of a shortage of foreign pickers caused by the falling value of the pound and new restrictions on the number of seasonal labourers allowed to enter Britain, farmers’ leaders warned the paper. Story here

THE TIMES: Blair Used Wife’s Grief to Protect Iraq Strategy

The paper, which is covering Cherie Blair’s autobiography, tells how she was astonished by the ruthless manner in which her husband and Alastair Campbell made public within hours the fact that she had lost the baby she was carrying in 2002  in order that a delay in their holiday did not trigger false speculation of an early invasion of Iraq. Story here

THE GUARDIAN: MPs Set to Back New Embryo Research Laws

The paper contacted 109 MPs over new embryo research laws, and says MPs will reject demands for tighter controls on abortion but are ready to allow new laws pushing back the boundary of research on human embryo. Story here

THE DAILY TELEGRAPH: Labour in Turmoil as Levy Warns Brown

There was no let up for Gordon Brown after a weekend of potentially damaging revelations. This time it was Tony Blair’s former fundraiser Lord Levy who said Brown should consider his position as prime minster after a series of disastrous poll results. Story here

THE SUN: Cherie: My Lost Baby

The paper also covers Cherie Blair’s heartbreak at the loss of her baby in a miscarriage. Story here

DAILY MIRROR: How Much Did She Know

The paper continues to ask how much the wife of Josef Fritzl knew about the cellar in which he kept his daughter and where he fathered seven children. Story here

DAILY MAIL: Food Inflation Soars to 19 Percent

The paper also looks at the cost of living, saying millions of families are having to spend almost 1,000 pounds a year extra on food after more punishing price rises. Story here

Abortion, Ant and Dec’s award - that wasn’t, and the confessions of the Austrian cellar man dominate the front pages of Friday’s papers.

THE INDEPENDENT: Abortion; the Battle Lines Are Drawn

The paper uses just three lines of text and three pictures for its main story about survival rates of premature babies and its significance in the abortion debate. Story here

THE TIMES: Drivers in Worse Jam as Traffic Plan Fails

The paper says motorists are wasting more time sitting in queues on motorways and A-roads because the government has failed to meet its key three-year target for reducing congestion. Story here

THE SUN: Hitler Made Me Do It

The man at the centre of the Austrian cell scandal has blamed his tyrannical rapist behaviour on his growing up under Adolf Hitler’s Nazis, the paper says - using a photo of Fritzl interposed on an image of Hitler. Story here 

DAILY MIRROR: I Confess

More confessions by Fritzl dominate the front page. Story here

DAILY MAIL: Can You Believe a Thing You See on ITV?

The paper asks the provocative question after the commercial TV channel was fined a record amount by the regulator Ofcom after the extent of its phone-in scandal was exposed in two reports. Story here

THE DAILY TELEGRAPH: Hospital Services Face Axe in NHS Shake-Up

Scores of hospital departments such as maternity units and cancer clinics will be closed or merged across the country under plans for a radical shake-up of the NHS, the paper says. Story here

DAILY EXPRESS: Banks in Current Accounts Rip-Off

Banks were criticised for ramping up fees on current accounts as fears grow that the days of free banking are numbered, the paper says. Story here

FINANCIAL TIMES: EDF Snaps up “Nuclear” Land

Europe’s biggest power company has been quietly buying land around nuclear sites in England and Wales, the paper says, putting itself in a position to build power stations even if it fails in its attempt to buy British energy, the nuclear generator. Story here

THE GUARDIAN: New Research on Baby Survival Rates Stokes Abortion Limit Row

Survival rates for babies born before 24 weeks are extremely low and getting no better in spite of medical advances, the paper quotes an authoritative study as saying. Story here

Jenny has been fired. Rejoice!

Then why did I feel sympathy for the woman whose look was described as a cross between Lady Macbeth and the snake Kaa in “The Jungle Book”?

Well, perhaps not quite sympathy, but a little more patience.

After all, this is the woman who turned on her colleagues in the boardroom, reduced team mates to tears, had the gall to ask for tips despite losing customers’ laundry, came up with the daft idea of an environment greeting card, tried to bribe a shopkeeper and didn’t know the meaning of kosher.

Financial pundit Alvin Hall had it about right when he said she had “distorted the idea of survival”.

But afterwards, as she explained her demonic behaviour on the post-programme analysis with Adrian Chiles, she didn’t criticise her former team mates and even appeared contrite for her brutish behaviour towards Lucinda.

“Miserable,” was how she herself described her callous boardroom tactics.

“I thought I was being shrewd,” she said. “Covering my back. I can’t believe it.”

Aggression can help in the business world, but it can also hinder, she observed.

Am I being soft? Going all American in the face of a public confession?

The other panelists hardly let up.

“You should’ve been fired last week for the environmental card,” columnist Vanessa Feltz told her.

If Alan Sugar wanted to show that integrity and skill wins a deal, he should also have fired Michael.

The 25-year-old telesales executive said he was a “good Jewish boy” on his CV to impress Sugar, but came a cropper when he didn’t know what kosher was during an exercise in Marrakech.

Worse than that, he mixed up kosher with halal.

“I’m only half-Jewish,” Michael later explained.

This time it was Sugar who went soft, going all dreamy-eyed over his own enthusistic youth.

The destruction and loss of life caused by the cyclone in Burma features on many of the broadsheet front pages, while Chelsea’s win, which keeps the title race going until the final day of the football season, is promoted in all the papers.

DAILY MAIL: Abortion: Fight to Save 2,500 Babies Every Year

MPs will begin a fight to cut the number of abortions by limiting a woman’s right to have a termination for social reasons, from the current 24 weeks to 20, the paper says. Story here

DAILY MIRROR: Boy from the Cellar

The paper features a picture of one of the children born in the cellar in Austria where his mother was kept captive for 24 years. Alex was one of three who was brought up in the family home upstairs. Story here

DAILY EXPRESS: Secret 25 percent Pay Rise for MPs

The paper says politicians are secretly plotting to award themselves a pay rise of up to 14,000 pounds a year, taking their salaries to more than 75,000 pounds. Story here

THE INDEPENDENT: Burma’s Wind of Change

The paper goes with dramatic pictures on its front of the cyclone which has swept across the country, killing thousands, and forcing the military regime to make an unprecedented plea for international help. Story here

THE DAILY TELEGRAPH: Estate Agencies Shut 150 Branches a Week

A further sign of the sub-prime lending crisis and credit crunch hitting home came with the paper’s disclosure that estate agencies were closing 150 branches a week with the loss of 4,000 jobs. Story here

THE TIMES: 10,000 Dead in Cyclone

The paper goes with the stark headline and the same main picture as the Independent to show the impact of the cyclone in Burma. Story here

THE GUARDIAN: Burma Seeks Emergency Aid as Cyclone Kills at Least 10,000

Again, the same picture of a monk crouching under a tangle of fallen tree trunks as it is reported the military leaders are willing to accept foreign help. Story here

The proposed rubbish bin tax has been shelved as part of a package of ideas planned by the under pressure Labour leader in his fight back following last week’s local election drubbing, some of Monday’s headlines revealed, while the continued troubles of ex-footballer Paul Gascoigne features in the tabloids.

THE INDEPENDENT: Gordon Brown: Why I should Stay in my Job

A contrite appeal by the prime minister is juxtaposed with a picture of London’s new mayor Boris Johnson donning a policeman’s hat. Story here

FINANCIAL TIMES: Microsoft Sparks Turmoil

An expected realignment of the consumer Internet sector was thrown into doubt over the weekend following Microsoft’s surprise abandonment of its 23.6 billion pounds takeover offer for Yahoo, the paper says. Story here

DAILY EXPRESS: Fat? Blame Your Genes Say Doctors

The paper claims British scientists unveiled a major new weapon in the battle against obesity after pinpointing a “fat gene” which makes people pile on weight. Story here

DAILY MAIL: Bin Tax Will Be Dumped

Gordon Brown has ditched Labour plans to burden families with taxes on their rubbish as part of a summer fightback to save his leadership, the paper says. Story here

THE SUN: Gazza’s Suicide Bid

Fears continued to grow for the former England midfielder Paul Gascoigne, the paper says. Story here

DAILY MIRROR: Cellar Girl Built Own Dungeon

The paper says the father, who imprisoned his daughter in a cell in Austria, even made her put the heavy door in place that was to lock her in for the next 24 years. Story here

THE GUARDIAN: We’ve Been Given a Yellow Card - Labour

Using football parlance, the paper quotes Labour party sources saying it had been given a warning by voters in last week’s local elections, adding Gordon Brown was planning to help hard-pressed families with a package including the expansion of shared equity schemes to boost the housing market, the shelving of plans for council rubbish taxes and putting more pressure on supermarkets to contain food price rises in an attempt to woo them back. Story here

THE DAILY TELEGRAPH: Brown Fights For His Future as Labour Revolt Grows

The prime minister’s series of interviews over the weekend, during which he took the blame for the local election results, did not go far enough for some Labour MPs who, the paper says, are lining up to criticise him over policies and his style of leadership. The paper also featured a picture of a smiling Queen, going unrecognised on a friend’s steam engine. Story here

THE TIMES: You’ve Got One year, Ministers Tell Brown

The paper goes one step further by putting a time limit on Brown’s attempts to turn around the party’s fortunes, quoting anonymous senior ministers. It also features a picture of a relaxed Queen in headscarf and raincoat. Story here

Some nationals made grim local election predictions for Gordon Brown’s Labour Party as early results came in, but others went for others stories, including how to improve poor teacher standards, while the tabloids continued to raise questions about how a father managed to keep his daughter in a cellar undetected for 24 years.

THE INDEPENDENT: Voters Deliver Ominous Warning to Brown

The paper was predicting voters would give Gordon Brown a “bloody nose” in his first election as Labour leader, blaming the economic gloom and his decision to abolish the 10p lower rate of income tax. Read here

THE TIMES: Row Over Plans to Recycle 24,000 Failing Teachers

Up to 24,000 incompetent teachers should be removed from their classrooms and put to work in neighbouring schools to improve standards under a plan drawn up by the chief executive of the General Teaching Council for England, the paper says. Read here

THE DAILY TELEGRAPH: Chinese Build Secret Nuclear Sub Base

The paper uses satellite imagery of a harbour to claim China has secretly built a major underground nuclear submarine base that could threaten Asian countries and challenge American power in the region.

THE GUARDIAN: Brown Faces Election Mauling

Labour admitted early on Friday that Gordon Brown had suffered an electoral mauling across the country in his first electoral test, and predicted its national share of the vote would plummet to a record low, the paper said. Read here

DAILY MIRROR: Try to Escape and I’ll Gas You

More disturbing details about how a father kept his daughter captive in a cellar for 24 years in Austria, forcing her to have seven of his children, are revealed in the paper. Read here

THE SUN: How Could Wife Not Know?

The paper asks how the wife of Josef Fritzl failed to detect anything suspicious despite her daughter living under the floor for 24 years.

DAILY MAIL: Brown’s Black Friday

The local elections left Gordon Brown facing a summer of discontent after large areas of Britain delivered Labour its worst election result in 25 years, the paper predicts. Read here

DAILY EXPRESS: Rising Costs Hit Household Bills

Millions of families face a crippling surge in the cost of living following a record rise in manufacturing costs, according to a poll of some 600 companies, the paper said. Read here

FINANCIAL TIMES: Barclays Reformer Quits Amid Rift Claims

One of Barclays’ most senior executives is to step down in a sign of the simmering tensions concerning the overhaul of the culture and management at the top of the UK’s third-largest bank, the paper predicts. Read here

Jenny does it again.

Despite showing a woeful lack of common sense with the doomed environmentally themed greetings card idea, and exhibiting a total lack of awareness during a sales pitch when she admitted no longer buying cards to be environmental, she still managed to deflect attention from herself in the boardroom by picking on the quietest woman in the room.

She did it in the second show when Shazia was kicked off, and attempted it against Sara in this week’s episode.

This is not to say she is Miss Teflon - Alan Sugar seemed to be aware of what was happening, but it clearly shows her tactics and helps extend her stay in the house.

“The house” is becoming the right phrase as “The Apprentice” is increasingly beginning to resemble the thinking-man’s “Big Brother”.

The barracking of Sara on her return from the boardroom was just aggressive showmanship. Raef, in pointing out the firing had already been dished out by Sugar in the boardroom, was the only one to come out of the situation well.

The sad thing is how the others so easily jumped on the bandwagon, including Lee, who, for me, is beginning to resemble a loose cannon, and Kevin, who was clutching at anything in the boardroom, except the obvious.

Let’s hope it’s not too long before Jenny goes — that way, we can see more of Lucinda’s increasingly odd wardrobe and Alex biting off more than he can chew.

The Austrian father who kept his daughter in a cellar for 24 years and forced her to have seven of his children still dominates the tabloid front pages but the broadsheets go for a variety of other stories, including Prince William in Afghanistan and the price of fuel, while Manchester United’s passage to the Champion’s League final is also featured.

DAILY MAIL: William Flies to War Zone

Prince William, who is on attachment to the RAF, made a secret flying visit to war-torn Afghanistan to see the work of British military personnel. Story here

THE SUN: Beast Beside the Sea

The paper shows Josef Fritzl pictured in a bathing costume during a holiday in Thailand while his daughter and children cowered in the dark of their cell. Story here

THE TIMES: Secret Tax adds 200 pounds to Cost of Family Cars

Tens of thousands of families will have to pay up to 245 pounds extra a year under new road tax rules after a covert government decision to include cars up to seven years old, the paper says. Story here

THE INDEPENDENT: The Power Struggle

The newspaper compares the 7.2 billion pounds profit announced yesterday by Shell and BP with the amount consumers pay for gas, electricity and air travel. Story here

THE GUARDIAN: Schools May Be Judged on Teenage Pregnancy Rates and Drug Problems

The paper said schools would be made to keep records of teenage pregnancy rates, pupils’ drug problems, criminal records and obesity levels — as well as exam results — under government plans to give parents a true picture of children’s lives. Story here

THE DAILY TELEGRAPH: English is Not the First Language for 800,000 Children

Almost 500,000 children in primary schools have English as a second language, with a further 350,000 pupils in secondary schools, the paper said. Story here

DAILY MIRROR: Cellar Mum: I’m Sorry

The mother of the girl kept in a cellar for 24 years by her Austrian father was reported in the paper as saying she had no idea during a reunion. Story here 

DAILY EXPRESS: Soaring Price of Fuel Hits Holidays

The era of cheap family holidays is at an end as airlines push up prices to pay for escalating fuel costs, the paper quotes an expert as saying. Story here

FINANCIAL TIMES: Relocating Companies Spark UK Tax Review

Chancellor Alistair Darling launched a review of the competitiveness of the UK’s tax system as a leading accountant warned a “bandwagon effect” could create an exodus of companies from the country for tax purposes, the paper said. Story here